New Strength~!

2007-01-26T02:03:00.000+08:00

I stared

they fell

shocked

petrified

demoralised

lost it all

in awe

terrified

disappointed with myself

stagnant

sluggish

irrationale

unable to judge anymore

i lost it.

I've let you down

2007-01-26T01:56:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.

I've known myself more today. I'm egoistic.

and I've let you down.

I'm sorry.

If only words could describe.

the broken trio concerto

2007-01-01T16:49:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year people! its just unbelievably fast that its already 2007! and seriously, I haven't gotten enough of 2006 yet.

been spending most of my nights outside instead of my own home, bad boy eh..haha.. no la..we gotta let loose and play to the max sometimes, especially when this is the only time we can really play..

on the 24th-25th of dec (Christmas Eve)
met some of my friends and tonned outside till the morning while just chatting.. haha..some catching up is needed.

27th of dec
went to mark's house with mavis.. was going there to help out in his Wing Gundam Custom Perfect Grade.. alot of airbrushing to do and that means having to wear a mask and get high on alcohol..haha..but its worthwhile..mavis was playing with luke and doing some of her assignments which i thought was manageable..:p haha.. just a thought. next day did more airbrushing and mark's mum treated me to a restaurant in raffles shopping centre where they serve organic food.. how cool is that? hahah..it sure taste good..hee..and off to home after that..

29th of dec
the day of the prom! never really prepared till around 1.5 hours before meeting time.. bathed, tried out shirt combis,and did my super spiky hair that some said was cool and wei yuan said he seriously hated, ah well.. who cares. (sorry wei yuan, you can't possibly ask me to uncomb my hair) played arcade before we meet (Guitarfreaks) at suntec then off to the prom.. the place is sure big.. and we reached the place late..the surprising thing is that there was no one collecting the tickets! imagine anyone could just walk in and pretend they paid. that's just great. the food was seriously not worth $45 and not filling at all.. so we ended up taking photos everywhere.. good thing i walked around the whole hall, if not wouldn't have seen so many people too..haha.. then photos, catching up.. photos and ...you get the idea.

after the prom finished, the bunch of us( the nicely dressed people) accompanied the girls back to Cornard hotel and sat there to rest a while at the lobby.. then with the girls, we walked to Pan Pac. Hotel and explored the lift..up and down the 30+ storeys 4 times.. then took a bus to Cineleisure where we struggled between pool or movie or that super expensive k box.. in the end i ended up watching movie which got no choice as i had to salvage some situation of Weibin or Jeannie buying an extra ticket causing the unwilling Amanda to go watch as well, so to solve it, I bought Amanda's ticket from her..and watched lo..the movie is ok la..its the Night in the Museum..probably a 3/5..haha..and when we're out.. the rest finished playing pool while hweefen and joey finished watchin the Wicker Man which they say is not worth to watch..ok..glad that i didn't watch with them though..and after that.. the girls waited till around 6 plus and headed back to hotel.. while me, joey, zhi wei, su sian and wei yuan went to Mac to have our breakfast talking alot of crappy stuff and some were my stuff.. (thanks for saying you'll be there for me.. :) ) then waited a few hours till Suntec Arcade were opened and we just played and played and played.. till around 12 we headed home.. as Susian house was still painting, he stayed at my house till 4pm playing games and using my com.. yah..so that's it for the 2 days..

31st of Dec
went out to meet Mark at redhill and took a cab to Expo..(sorry i was late and caused you to waste a $15.20 on the cab fare) once we reached the Expo, the place was crowded, saw lotsa retro people, cuz it was retro-themed. went in, didn't see anyone i know, so well.. get to know people lo..the people i most remembered there was Adrian and Raymond.. others were Glen and Melcolm(sp?), Shynn, Eunice, Hui ling, Ester and others..haha..can't remember for now..sorry.. we jumped and sang songs, joked, took photos and counted down. nothing very spectecular really.. that's what i felt la..probably not in a mood ba..haiz.. anyways..after that we walked, took bus and on the bus i got to know Raymond, who's really a seriously nice guy, talked to him, get to know his past, and talked about Arts and Airplanes and interests and since i was into drawing recently and i brought my Sketchbook along intended initially to show mark , i showed him too..
he reviewed my so far only 4 page sketch book and gave me his valuable opinions and skills of shading and lighting effects..and i was kinda enlightened..haha.. then we reached Esplanade.

didn't really have ppl to talk to, don't know what to talk about too.. so as i felt bored, took out my psp, earphones, borrowed Rayomond's pencil and eraser and at 4.21am completed my 4th sketch.. if i get a chance i will post it here..:) its not that i'm a loner, i'm not. i'm just bored and.. aiya..whatever. then after some serious efforts of trying hitch a cab ride, we got ourselves 3 cabs after booking them. Reached mark's house at 5+ am and left at 6.30am as his mum fetched me to redhill mrt.. then i headed home, slept, woke, ate and now i'm typing this.. yah.. that's all..

sorry.. don't know what's onto me these days too.. hope will be feeling better soon.. the new year just seemed like any other day..

Chimera Charade

2006-12-29T01:42:00.000+08:00

Chimerical Charades

The flurry white flakes fall from the sky,
forming a beautiful cascading scene.
Of all palettes, why choose white? why?
the descending flakes have forgotten their colour it seemed.

Amidst the wintry snowy blanket,
I paced alone to destinations of Chimera.
Reminiscing dear memories I kept,
Screaming out those etched feelings of nostalgia.

Is it a dream that I thought it was to be,
Or was it to be a dream I thought it should be?
The lines blurred,hacked,erased and crossed,
never will there be glee,enthuse, hope and remorse.

The trail of steps I left behind,
the every strand of tapestry in my mind,
the attempts to remove the pine,
the very quintessence i'm trying to find...

By: Bryan

I've got the Vibes of the Vibes that it gives :p

2006-12-16T11:10:00.000+08:00

ok.. so i know its really kinda long( 1 month) before i last posted here..

well too many things happened..

There's my class chalet in Coasta Sands Resort. I'll just give you a brief outline on what we did there..:) First day, i and some others reached at around 3 plus and played our 3 Psps (Bleah) with games like Loco Roco, Bleach and Bounty Hounds and chatted while the others played cards. After which dinner at food court and the most fun part is the night. We rented a total of 17 bikes( i think) both guys and gals and headed towards changi village when its like 11 plus.. hehe.. actually for some of us our final destination was not changi village.

This is some of our bikes outside changi village.:p

Its the Old Changi Hospital.(sounds creepy?)

here are the photos that we took(no they are not stolen)..haha..you may ask "wth you actually even took photos?" Yeah we did. and a small group of us even wanted to go in again after we came out. heh..;p

Pic1:Well as you can see this is the Old Changi Hospital Building.

Pic2 :and this is the entrance with really steep steps to the building. both dangerous and creepy.

Pic3: the creepy window panels

ok..apparently that's all, there's supposed to be another one of us in the pic but was not uploaded. and erm ok..The reason why I repeated creepy to many times is that Lim Hwee and I heard sounds (sound of something shifted, a bang sound) and he even saw a white figure, well i didn't see it though. When we came out of the building and talking with our classmates who was waiting all along at the bus stop nearby, we saw flashes inside(prolly some ppl like us who ventured in) but hey, its in one of the highest storey like 4th or 5th storey. Who in the hell will go so high? that's creepy ok.

hmmm but the most creepy thing we found is that after zooming in and looking for "things" in our photos using the digital camera, we found spirit orbs(white round bright spots that shows presence of "them") but well it may be lighting right? you might say and even reflections.. who knows? But hey. Here's the thing, we zoomed in around 6 times? (forgot) and we saw that the white spot in pic 2 and 3 had vivid facial features on them especially in pic 2 the entrance. It was said from our further research on another webby that the area surrounding the entrance is dense with "them". Well anyways, its truly a fun, bold and out-of-this-world experience. Get the pun? haha..

second day was returning of the bikes and playing and more playing of arcades and cards and then BBQ night! haha.. I was the FireMan known for starting the fire or getting the fire ready..haha..whatever..but Miss Zhang our civics tutor prepared some yummy bee hoon(at least better that last year's) for us. Then late night, after playing more cards, WeiJie bought a bottle of Absolute Vodka(40% alcohol) for us all who wants to drink. Most guys actually. we mixed it with sprite and coke (1:1 portions)and just drink all of them. But for me.. 2 cups and my face is red.. haha..alotta ppl went a but haywire after that and i just went to sleep.(is that drunk?) haha..but ppl like Jason who's face is never red and don't feel even a single thing after drinking 3 cups can still play cards till morning without sleep. That's awesome i tell you. Awesome XD

Third day we just packed our stuffs and go after playing with the Xbox available there.

Nicest Chalet i've went if you'ld ask me. ^^

Then the second thing that happened was Susian coming to stay over at my house for 5 days and guess what, he just played 5 days straight..haha..that was the time when my ps2 is most extensively used, other than last year's chalet. oh i really miss that time. But anyways, just got a new Gundam game for him so he could play and yah..he just played non stop from morning to night and sometimes, till morning again.Meanwhile we still went out and met out with Weiyuan and also played some arcade over at JE. He's staying so long cuz his house was currently under renovation and thus got no place to sleep so i just took him in..heh..its very fun though..:)

2006-11-14T17:36:00.000+08:00

Hiya my dear blog( yes i know it sounds kinda gay):

My As almost to an end now, left a physics paper 3 and a chem paper 1 and for me and some minority, 2 more SUPER EXTRA papers(Chem S paper and Physics S paper) but heck, who cares? I'm still gonna play and I'm still playing everyday, even when exams are on. haha.. some of you may think i'm crazy, why play now?

The reason is, I can't study if i don't play.

Moreover, Its a 3 week long or 4 weeks for me- long ordeal which completely robs me of my personal life and well, my gaming life for now. The only thing that I can do now which is touch-and-go is well, gaming. For after As, its gonna be more gaming(due to more time) and kit modelling and stay-overs.. XD

I'm halfway through my Physics Option Topic now, Physics of Fluids (POF) and well, can't sit still and study, so decided to update my half-month dead blog. haha..my papers are still ok thus far, HOPING to be able to clinch an A or more than one. I guess for GP i may get a B3? and Chemistry probably an A( that is if everything goes well, i seriously doubt the bell-curve will pull down the marks anway, for there aren't much study-freaks out there). And for study-freaks i mean those who study all day long, nothing but study and not only that but selfish acts as not sharing knowledge and rendering help to those in need. It may sound like a FLAMING SESSION, but well the only thing in my mind now is game is studies, so if game doesn't interest you in this entry, perhaps this topic MAY. Well for physics, paper 2 was a killer probably had already stolen As or even passes from many of us now and i SURE hope that tomorrow's paper 3 will be relatively "doable". XD

Haiz.. sometimes while talking to my friends, I somehow feel that my presence is not really felt, well only sometimes that is, and i feels really bad. when you got only your friends to turn to presently. and the thought that keeps coming back to my mind is that whenever i say something that i do and they don't do, or don't know, they would say something similar or quoted " don't care, don't bother". At least show some attention and even if its some made-up interest, it still doesn't matter, for that shows you are at least are willing to listen, but instead, i was immediately SHUT UP with a nonchalant "don't care, don't bother" or " that doesn't concern me anyway". Well , I really doubt these friends of mine will visit and may visit anyway. Its not that i'm angry with them, but i feel rather disappointed and dejected from my friends. Something like not being accepted by your circle of friends, or friend. I guess people are more self-centred when the exams are near perhaps they are preoccupied with more things in mind. or perhaps, just self-centred for they only cares what goes on around them and what they do but not of others.

I repeat, at least for my friend who may be looking at this, its not flaming or whatsoever but just something unpleasant to come out from a friend.haiz.. I wonder..

Ok then, finish ventilating my thoughts, felt much better, back to study!! XD

A Chimera of Distorted Time

2006-11-02T22:29:00.000+08:00

Its amidst the As now though and well i got a wish list going on..cuz there's just simply too many things that tempts me! haha.. just for your info, even if its in the exam period like As, i'll still go out and walk sometimes to survey for my kinda " Wish List".

So wondering what I may want? haha

Anyway, Here goes:
1)Logitech White PSP Cover(with replaceable Design Covers)-$35.00
2)Final Fantasy XII Official Guide Book-$32.90
3)Final Fantasy XII(PS2)-$85.00 or ??? :p
4).hack// G.U. Rebirth(PS2)-
5)Shin Megami Tensei-Devil Summoner(Ps2)-

Untouchables at the moment:

6)Monster Hunter Freedom 2-$60.00~$70.00
7)Audio Technica Clip-on Earphones ATH-EM7 GM-$79.00
8)Sony PS3-$700~$900

Well I think that's enough to really wreack an earthquake in your pocket or perhaps eat into your bank reserves, but as I said, this is nothing but a WISH list..^_^

Help..

2006-10-08T00:40:00.000+08:00

I'm Depressed.

I'm collapsing inside.

i only care for myself and not others

2006-10-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

My dear blog.. you're my only refuge now..my only place where i can tell this to.. well of course i know anyone who comes here will see how this.. but well.. its ok..its best if i let others know this..

I'm always called the Mr. Nice Guy.. By so many people..and i just wanna say sorry for all of you who said this to me.. cuz i'm just not as good as i seem...and i know it only today..on the 7th of October.

You discovered-- my flaw, and its a flaw that hurts you. I promised myself, that I will never hurt you, but I did, not only once, not twice, and not even thrice, many many times. I'm such a Bastard, A JERK, A useless lowlife, A piece of Crap.

You said that i only care for myself and never care for others

I know. I am Self-centered. I am Self-Conscious. I live in my own World, where there is only ME, MYSELF and I.

now, I realised this.. and it hurts me so much to know that I hurt you.. Perhaps this feeling has been expounded back to me multiple folds.But well, I deserved it.

I know, I never ever spare a thought for others, and I only do things for my own benefit, I know I keep wanting people to change for me, rather than I change for others and for you. I'm sorry.

You've told me that you've forgiven me. But I'll never forgive myself. I hate myself.
I H A T E S U C H A J E R K L I K E M Y S E L F

I really feel like crying. I'm so hurt. So down. I've let down so many people, and I hadn't realised it. I'm so sorry.

I know I'm afraid. My cause of this flaw is because I'm afraid. Yes, Afraid. I'm afraid of letting myself getting hurt, just because of the shere fact that I am hurt before too many times, by past relationships, and maybe some other things that occured in school. I'm so afraid, that I want them to do things in such a way that I won't get hurt. And in the process, I'd UNKNOWINGLY HURT THEM. And I don't care if they get hurt. I just care about my own feelings.

Yes, I do care for people sometimes. But that doesn't warrant me to hurt another person. And I don't care for people most of the time. I know this myself. I'm trying to change. Just trying. and perhaps, I never made a clear enough effort.

That's why I said. I'm a selfish bastard. I thereby, Condemn myself.

Finally~

2006-09-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Ah.. finally my prelims for A levels are over! GP, Physics, Maths and Chem.. hope i can really do well though..cuz if i don't do well now, then when? haha.. but still..i feel damn sianz.. cuz there's still Physics and Chem S paper prelims next week!! ARgh..this is really ARgh..thought i could finally play at peace.. well.. in anycase, there's still a few days of holidays or self-proclaimed holiday for me..:)

haha.. Just bought a PSP game lately.. called Bounty Hounds.. got it after it was out for 7 days.. cool huh.. and straight after my prelims ended..:) my friend jason also went to get himself a PSP that day..with Bleach Heat Soul 3 that day!! Woo Hoo.. haha.. both are new and very nice picks and we got it at a damn reasonable price..haha.. only $61.70 for Bounty Hounds and $70 for Bleach.. ok la.. original dudes.. what more prices do you expect.. besides ordering online?haha.. Just came back from CK's house.. but sadly SS can't join us..haha..Jason and I went.. and well.. played games lo..like nobody's business..haha.. 2 PSPs, 1 PS2 and a PC.. what you expect? when 3 gamers meet.. there's nothing to do but eat, sleep and game. haha.. well..we did chat a little here and there..but mostly gaming..somehow.. i'm not that attracted to games anymore..weird huh..not the usual Bryan..might be cuz of e exams ba..hmm..but its a temporary feeling anyway..haha.. who cares..:p

so off with the games and studies..but still hope i do well next week.. so far not doing much lately except the 2 and watching animes.. and i've been missing my usual drum sessions..haha..cravings are coming..:p

time flies..really.. after As, will be my long awaited super-duper-extremely long-till-no one cares break but after which will be the sianz sianz NS..but that's still kinda far to talk about..haha..though its not something i would voluntarily do..haha.. hmm..wonder should i really study for my S paper prelims..maybe read through some ba..haha.. not really in e mood for studying already..since already grinded for almost a month..:s

have been thinking of doing something special.. for that special someone.. but still haven't thought of it yet..haha.. can't really get inspirations..since there's so many distractions lately..but still i'll try to do something..haha..

and JIA YOU FOR YOUR PROMOS!

The Tainted Green Leaf

2006-08-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

my apologies for not posting so long..i've been either playing games or busy doing work..haha..

Lately.. there's been so much homework.. cuz well, our A levels are coming.. and before that..prelims..so in one way or the other..the teachers are kinda drillin infinitely into us.. hoping that it helps in our revision..yes..it does help..but nonetheless.. this is still a very routine-based, energy-sapping, monotonous and excruciating period..

whatever I may want to think, try to think.. that fact that after As.. that i'll be going NS is still there to stay.. and an inevitable fact that we must face together.. things will change.. friends will part.. life will change.. for change is the only constant.. but who says that there can't be a stubborn bunch who will stay and perservere? haha..with faith and hope.. the memory that lingers will anchor us together..

there's been so much thoughts going through my mind now..people of the past.. situations of the present, and uncertainties of the future..

hmmm..try conscious of myself though..trying hard to be a better person overall..i'm not a bad person..but just that somethings.. could have been better if i worked on it..

I've been thinking..whether are the things i've done lately correct.. or could it be something better.. somehow.. i just couldn't put myself to change.. stupid me.. sometimes.. i look at my life..and look at other's lives.. i try to justify my actions.. and myself.. subconsciously comparing..but not competing.. its just that maybe you won't even know about the lives of the people closest to you..regardless how much you want to know about it.. hmm..just venting my thoughts these few days..:)

at school..i tried to be a happy fella.. but perhaps..i might be worse off if left alone at home too..haha..i once said that perhaps i'll really get depression one day if i stay at home rotting too much..:) so well.. work and friends fill my space now.. but as we're occupied by friends.. i sometimes still can't free my mind off some thoughts.. hmmm..i wonder if these are called modern anxieties??

There's no one in this world who doesn't want to be a better person,its e mere matter of what circumstance and how much is one willing to do it.

Propensity of Perpetual Psychological Preconceptions

2006-07-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

Thoughts are swirling in my mind now.. though i am now studying for my stupid maths test tml that lasts 2 hours.. a paper practice, i reckon.

The thought affects me.. and never leaves, its perpetual and permanent.

you may not understand what i'm talking about.. so please tolerate my venting.

I'm feeling rather emotional deep inside, yet on the outside I present the practical self, keen-on-learning self, but I think its just to advert my train of thoughts to this.

Its a cowardly escape I'm doing.

Its not really taking its toll, but it sure affected my life, making me unable to enjoy it fully.

Well, I mean, that's life right? Nothing's perfect, nothing's certain. And prehaps uncertainty creates Anxiety, in which evoloves into what we know as FEAR.

This complexity or mulitplicity of psychological frame is temporary, yet powerful enough to affect one's actions and perception of things.. haiz.. i'm talking crap again..haha

anyway.. just feel like writing something here.. now i gotta go back to study.. oh my.. look at the time..12.36am.. haha..

Modern Anxiety

2006-07-13T21:35:00.000+08:00

Really..

This is killing me..

I'm over-stressed by school work..

all the tests.. and the urge to keep wanting to score better..

I don't know if its me, or is it the difficulty of the syllabus..

My threshold of stress may be low, but Seriously..

I'm Dying.

Society itself is stressful in nature, regardless of what perspective you take

I'm just so sick of the hecticness and buzz of life.

I'm frantically searching for serenity, amidst this Chaos.

Its either I break it,

or it'll break me.

NGulfed

2006-06-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

I really hate myself, I'm just not good enough. Why cant I be a better person even though I try so hard to?Consciously Time and again reminding and making an effort to make myself a better person. But.. it still happens.. Why?? Haiz.. This strange feeling.. a feeling that's not suppose to surface at all.

I feel upset..and its a painful feeling.. its nothing much, but I somehow feel hurt..
I'm sad. Moodless. Blinded.

I wanna get rid of this feeling.

Fast.

Lost in Folds Of Dimensions

2006-06-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

A Black pen is what I hold on my Left hand,
A Blank paper is what I pen it with.

The Grip of Reality intensified,
leading me into yet another frantic chase.
The strokes grow Wilder,
leading me into yet another endless cirlce.

The trace follows, darting from one end to another,
forming all forms of different distortions.
The lines just spiral---an infinite loop maker,
is this yet another messed up perception?

Perhaps what I hold may not be a pen afterall,
Just a pencil whose lines can be easily erased.
Perhaps it wasn't even a blank one,
Just a sheet of Paper whose appearance cannot be make up of.

Straight lines become distorted,
no matter how hard I try.
Distorted wavy lines are created,
no matter how hard I try not to.

Just what the hell am I doing?
This perplexed and complex visiting?
How I wish that I could flow through the Vials
Vials encapsulating the Sands of Time.

Hit me, impact me, shock me, come what may,
please bring me back to the world that I know may.

yeah~!

2006-05-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

well well well..

my birthday is just over!! haha.. its 27th of May by the way..hee.. celebrated with alotta people.. and just love them lots..:) this year's birthday is thus far the best..and i'm blessed with all my friends and my loved ones around me..:)

Thanks to:
Kenneth..for treating me to Pizza Hut (and still saying that you owe me a present..its so nice of ya..:) )
Sally.. for post-celebrating with me and giving me that Gasapon handphone accessory..hee..
Weiyuan.. for treating me to Sakae Sushi! haha..its my first time..
Susianz.. for buying me another Nike bottle..:)
and you..for buying me e Bleach hp accessory, Nike bottle and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle:13 and accompanying me on my Birthday..:)

loved you all so much..( i know its gayish..haha..)

The Perpetual Cycle Continues

2006-05-25T21:11:00.000+08:00

Nostalgia.Fear.Repercussions

Memories Surround Me
Obscuring my view
Stealing away my control
Lifting my Sovereignty

What have become of me?
The existence fogged
The name unheard
The footsteps buried

So Frantically I searched
have i been

Flipping pages after pages
Monochromic Sheets of Solitude
They appeared in different shades
Yet Unchanging

Trimming my existence
just to fit like a block in a Child's Play
Its Excruciating
Perpetually Sapping

So Maniacally I searched
had I been

Its taking its toll
I can't resist its control
Escaping out of this Oblivion I am
Getting into yet another am I?

Its an Oblivious Obviousness
Acknowledged have I did.

~Wakalimashita~

2006-05-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

These few days are really some soul-searching days for me.. I understood myself more.. and now i know my weaknesses.. Good thing is i've pledged to myself to change and rid off that negative side of me..haha..

and I've found out that lately i've been so caught up with work..so much so that i've neglected some of my friends.. I'm really sorry.. and Sorry Louise That i didn't attend your birthday party.. I guess i wasn't myself lately..haha..too messed up with work and schedules..

Wei Yuan..Hope that you're ok..and everything will be fine soon.. Just give allowance for acceptance of new things..its a different day everyday..

Anyway.. i'll be moving house next wed on 17th to Marsling..hee.. so Henry.. you've got company..haha.. hope that i'll like my new house.. but bad thing is these few days gotta be busy packing my stuffs lo.. blehx.. Problem lies with my com and ps2.. afraid that it'll be spoiled my the house movers..hope not ba..haha..

Its a long long weekend.. well actually its pretty quick lah..just one more day of hols ma..haha..
Me, Susian and Jason went to CK's house to play and stay over night.. and i FINALLY PLAYED MELTY BLOOD!! kinda hooked to the game..cuz its just so nice.. and i'm kinda fond of Arcrueid..;p and that stupid Susian..keep playing the ACE2 ( Another Century Episode 2).. played like total of 6-7 hours in his house lah..then we just sat there watching..i even watched till i fell asleep..and well i played WORMS WORLD PARTY again.. and i lost to JASON!! cuz i took my jetpack and flew into the water..haha.. if not he would have lost! ^_- then i transferred some nice songs from CK's com.. thanks, CK! and played some other games..

oh yah.. I completed Dirge of Cerberus(FFVII first person shooter game on the PS2 console)! haha.. did it at CKs house..and Susian just kept complaining that the ending is just too long to handle.. keep asking me to skip but i denied..haha..

after that went to JP with Suzzie and i bought something..:p

well.. After hearing what you said.. I've Pledged in My Heart that I'll go to my best ability to not let you get hurt again..I promise.

Repercussions

2006-04-30T14:09:00.000+08:00

haiz..as you can see..this may just start off as a pessimistic post.. so if you don't wanna hear me whine and talk about what's happening to me.. you may just navigate elsewhere..

these few days.. it just seems that there's no purpose in my life..no nothing..

besides studying..playing brainless and somewhat meaningless games that can't fill up that huge mysterious gap in my heart.. there's practically nothing to do..and also my com monitor has some serious probs..but glad its working fine now..haiz.. hope to get my new com real soon..

i've been really wanting to go out lately..and i really really hate to be alone nowadays whether its outside or at home..

i'm really feeling very lost.. again..perhaps for the same reason..that's why i want to go out.. to fill up that gap and perhaps do something crazy or outta the world that can maybe add the spice i need in my life..i've went out on wed to our class bbq and i did crazy things like walking from Clementi MRT to Commonwealth MRT with Susian and agreeing to let him come my house straight away.. and even go out to play LAN the next day without really much of a rest..haha..

and now, i'm just back from Wei Yuan's house after spending the night there with henry too.. i was stupidly and frantically asking people out.. for not much of a purpose but just for the sole purpose of wanting to go out. finally i asked henry out and spent out time at orchard and headed around 11 plus to Wei Yuan's house.. we did night cycling from wei yuan's to may's house.. and its my first time.. its really terrific though..thanks wei yuan..:) though he said that it could be improved as there's only two bikes and wei yuan had to ride with henry on the same bike..he was rather exhausted at the end of it all.. and we played RA2 and worms world party which we did some mindless stuff..

though i did things that seems kinda fun and may perhaps fill one's life.. it still doesn't kill that feeling i have now..and i think its because the root of the prob ain't solved at all..and its somewhat getting worse..i'm beggining to think pessimistically and perhaps too much as quoted by wei yuan.. and what i feel may not be what the thing's like.. but the fact is that i'm feeling this way now..

i hate the feeling of staying home and doing not really anything as i will start thinking about it and soon reality will strike me.. perhaps going out gives me anticipation and distracts me away from that silly act..

you may just wanna kill me now for saying such hopeless and pessimistic things and may just think that i'm weak..but just pardon me for this..

been looking at my phone..hoping to receive msgs..but haiz.. no longer..

all things are no longer the same as the past..
i'm losing grip from my life..
but i'll wake up from this perpetuating slumber soon..
for i just cannot end up like this.. and i must fulfil the promise i made to myself..
to make it the best..

Its a long refresh

2006-04-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

Heya people.. sorry for not updating my blog for so long..as i've told sharon its cuz there's no time(cuz i usually blog very long entries) and also there's too much things to blog about everyday! haha.. thing is i'm usually to tired to blog after a long day of stuff has happened..don't you agree so? haha..

anyway.. many many many things happened lately but i'll start with Talentime in JJ first.. its over for me le.. and i'm no longer participating..i wasn't chosen as one of the eight outta the 51 participants.. i swear i did my best and its the best i could ever give.. others agreed its nice too.. but perhaps it wasn't the judges' taste..sianz.. haiz.. though hard-hit when i saw the results but i'm the same old bryan the next day..haha

then 2 days after that was Napfa.. its a tormenting experience for me..at least before i took it.. and not only for me lah..for others too..who would've want to go? well perhaps Jasper..haha..

we took the 5 stations first and then the 2.4km.. here are my results..its not very good in the eyes of some but pass it if you don't wannna see it..haha..

Situps: 50
Pullups: 11
Standing Broad Jump: 238cm
Sit and Reach: 48cm
Shuttle Run:9.9s
2.4km: 11.16min

so here you are..haha.. its 25points and a gold for that.. well there are some crazy superpowers like weibin and jackson who got 30 points full marks and a gold..haha..

just went to bugis on sat to study and well walk around with jason.. we did our hw there, shopped around and headed for queensway where he got his shoe for $106..haha..its a nice shoe.. amphibious Nike Running Shoe.. i tried finding the bag i wanted and in the end to no avail even in bugis and queensway..haha..and then it rained.. too bad jason gotta go first to check his internet thingys in westmall.. leaving me alone to shop for my bag..can't blame him though..i'm picky..haha..luckily i called wei yuan and he agreed to accompany me to FAR EAST to buy my bag..haha..a very very very good friend isn't it? this bests supports that he's really there when you really needs him..hee.. and well..after walking for less than 10 mins, we got my bag at $53.. an airwalk synthetic leather bag.. told that it was a new design and true enough didn't see it anywhere that day..haha.. after that i still felt kinda lost..felt like "dawning" but can't..cuz been out the whole day and i would have to carry my bag along..haha

so guess what? we ate and shared a meal in BK and after walking to PS, we took the train talking about our class and stuffs.. he agreed to come to my house! haha..and he helped me with somethings cuz i really was feeling kinda upset and sad that time.. he stayed over night at my house and we chatted till 2 plus and just showed him the lame pig video..haha

the next morn, which is today..we played kingdom hearts 2 farming for items and showing him the worlds..haha..and he was really pretty good! cut out for it..haha..
and then we had lunch together at my house.. tasty curry chicken..

took a nap and just finished my work which was like crazy lah..so many s paper work need to do..haha.. but still finished le..so glad..haha..and tml can use my new bag le!! yeah! haha..and PCs will never be the same again..haha.. ok lah..its late now..gotta continue my KH2 le..:p

Its the end of it all

2006-04-12T00:48:00.000+08:00

Why?

V for Vendetta -A Vivaciously Vicarious Victory

2006-04-02T04:37:00.000+08:00

hey..i'm back..and its 4.40am now..haha..but its worth it..cuz i just found the beautifully crafted lines in the movies and i've decided to post it here in this blog.. just for your Viewing pleasure..:)

The following is a scene when V comes to rescue a damsel in distress. First few scene in the movie.
--------------------------------------------------------
Evey Hammond: Who--who are you?

V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what... and what I am is a man in a mask.

Evey Hammond: I can see that.

V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking on the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
--------------------------------------------------------

Behold the power of the letter V!
This is the scene just 5 mins into the movie, where V, introduces himself to a damsel in distress.

--------------------------------------------------------
"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
--------------------------------------------------------

This is the part where V's trapped by a firing squad holding assault rifles. The scene before everyone decides to empty all their shells on him. The Final Showdown.

--------------------------------------------------------
Creedy: All you've got are your knives and your karate gimmicks. We've got guns.

V: No, what you have are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty I am no longer standing, because if I am... you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.

V: Behind this mask is a man, and behind this man is an idea. And ideas are bulletproof.
-------------------------------------------------------

True enough, he killed single-handedly with his trusted knives after they emptied their shells on him and..the best part is.. they didn't even have the time to reload..

That's V for U.

State of Equilibria

2006-04-02T03:37:00.001+08:00

There were some disturbances and distressing things that occured over the past month, but i guessed its all over now! hee.. and good thing's i no longer feel anxious due to my fear and well.. it ain't a fear if you feel it ain't.. right? haha..

its kinda late now.. but i know that i've not blogged for a long time and if i don't blog now, i don't know when's the next time i'll sit here and blog again..haha..so here i am typing..

Bout my Gaming Life:

been playing Kingdom Hearts 1 lately..its an old game..but very nice!! haha.. its a perfected fusion of Disney and Final Fantasy Characters and they're nicely pieced into the Kingdom Hearts story.. in this game.. you play as Sora who's stranded in an unknown world after the Heartless came to Destiny Island ( the place where Sora, Riku and Kairi hang out and explored since they were a child).. Sora, was chosen to be the Keyblade master to lock up all the keyholes in all the worlds to prevent the invasion of the 'heartless' Heartless whose led by all the baddies found in the Disney series.. nice eh? ;p and you will go to all sorts of worlds.. even meet Winnie the Pooh in the 100 Acre Woods! anyway..the 100 Acre Woods is found in a book..so you literally go in the book and explore the area.. The game's all about unfolding secrets, desperate attempts to find King Mickey and Sora's friends, defeating the Heartless bosses and unlocking even more hidden Keyholes..:) haha..

i'm still thinking what to do with my other games..haha.. i got Path of Neo, Shadow of Colossus, Magna Carta, Ratchet Deadlock, Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams still waiting for me to at least play through till 50%..haha..what should i start first?? hee.. its nice having so many games unplayed, but a hassle start on which drawing board.

also, i've been exploiting the PSP even more..by playing SNES on it and sharing it with my classmates!! haha.. well.. ck played the most.. of Super Mario World, Final Fantasy3..haha..and Rockman X3..hee.. well..finally its been put to some use..:) and i've gotten the whole Ken Hirai Album!!!! i've just listened to the whole album while doing my hw.. and its really really really really really very nice!!! haha.. loved it.. and i got my Boa-Outgrow album too.. its very good too..but you can get tired of it after a while..haha..

Bout my School life

Been going out less often during weekends and more during weekdays..haha.. and i watched V for Vendetta with Angela during the previous Wednesday!! well.. it was fun.. so far the second movie we watched so far.. the first was Walk the Line..and well.. had plenty of time even after the movie and decided taking photos.. but not of ourselves..hee..

haha.. andway.. V is a nice show.. dark storyline like the Matrix, but the action is woo-hoo..haha.. bloody..but well.. the special approach of the Director to try create an alternative image of a 'hero' in this movie is really what makes it all worth it.. haha..hmmm..i wonder..is it heroism?? or is it terrorism?? haha.. well.anyway..this issue links to my GP lesson, where we watched Gandhi!! haha.. its a nice show and well..political.. same as V for Vendetta..and Wei Yuan is the new Gandhi of S20!! hahaa..he simply just resembles too much of Gandhi and not only his colour, ( sorry wei yuan) haha.. but also his thinking..at least that's what i think..haha..

'sides movies, i've grasped the correct working pace now and my studies is going back on the running track..hee.. perhaps its still too early to say..but well..haha.. and i'm surprised to get the result for my maths term 1.. thought its all messed up by all my integration..haha..

the class guys have also signed up for Jap CLASS!!! OMG!! haha.. but the saddest thing is that i can't go and learn..cuz of some coincidentally arranged GP lessons on every thursdays.. and its only got Scholars..haiz.. so i can't go anymore.. sighz.... but well..have another chance in the Us..haha..hope to hear them speak jap in class!! haha.. and guess what, my GP teacher for my Scholar's programme is Pat Lim!! haha.. see her everyday sia..especially double dosage on Thursday..haha.. anyways..

Talentime's coming soon..and i've practiced my song.. but i still gotta practise with Charlie's piano..haha.. hope we can practice soon! hee.. and guess what? I might be watching Ultraviolet next week! haha.. Bleh..;p

its already 4am liao.. gotta go orh orh le.. so much said.. hope it gives ya more insights (craps)..haha.. nightz everyone.. or morning?? haha.. kk.. sleep tightz..

Droollssssss..............

Growing Wings

2006-03-18T02:37:00.000+08:00

I've really been playing a game called Drakengard 2 lately.. and its really a nice game with a well.. extremely complicating plot..

for Drakengard 1, there's 5 endings, and for the sequel, there's 3 endings.. the best thing is that the sequel is closely linked in its story from its predecessor(sp)..haha..so imagine how complex the whole story could get..

the whole game is about humans making pacts with beasts and gaining power.. but at the same time there're seals that protects the world from losing its order and when the seals are destroyed, the world faces time distortion and destruction. Not in the sense of armageddon, but manifestations of monsters and demons will appear and humans getting killed and eaten up ( in Drakengard 1).

The same story carries on to Drakengard 2, but 18 years later after the world regained its order after the sacrificial of a goddess for the final seal. The girl, Manah, who's the leader of the Cult Of the Watchers appeared in Drakengard 2 again and now, she's turned over a new leaf and forgotten her past inorder to atone for her sins by liberating all the peasants in the world from being Martyrs (beings sacrificed to keep the balance of the seal) as they would slowly die and be sacrificed to keep the seal. Moreover, the so called "just" Knights of the Seals also took advantage and tortured the peasants by not giving them food and enslaving them.. Thus Manah decided to take action and destroy the 5 seals that hold the order of the world.. and so the story goes.. its long and damn long..haha.. so well.. those who are interested just read on your own for Drakengard 2 plot analysis on the net.. there must be one..haha..

anyway, back to my life..its kinda boring and excruciating to stay at home all day long.. with homework piling and so little time to do.. furthermore, i'm really broke now..so i can't really go out and play or have fun.. haha.. so, sadly i'll have to stay at home and do my work for these past few days.. how i wish there's really something that can keep me anticipated..haha.. maybe school reopening ba.. so that i can see angela again..

things hasn't been going well lately too..and i dread it..how i hope that didn't happen..and the consequence is unbearable.. and i don't really have much of a choice cuz the ball's not in my court at all.. i hope things will revert to the way it was.. without constrictions..

past memories of the Manado trip keeps flashing back too..and i really hold these memories dearly.. i will never let them go.. its just truly an unforgetable experience in my life.. i really hope to see them again..

I'm back..with a different feeling..

2006-03-07T02:01:00.000+08:00

~Inspiration~

Finally.. i'm back from Manado.. Its been 8 days since i left singapore yesterday..and i just love the place so much.. i've never been on a trip or vacation for more than a week.. and the whole experience was amazing..

The programmes i shan't say too much about it..but i'll say bout some stuffs..everyday,we must wake up at around 5 to prepare ourselves in the dorm of the school and yah..the school's name is SMA Lokon.. and my room mates are raditya, ivan, syafiq and charlie.. it was really a great time there with you guys.. love you all and thanks for the company in the 8 days..

and guess what, some of the girls even have morning jog at 4.45am.. haha.. crazy lah.. but well..haha..and the weather there is super nice.. its natural aircon all around.. cuz the school is situated on top of a mountain.. and the reason why its called SMA Lokon cuz the school is near a mountain called Mt. Lokon.and its one of the best schools that you can find in the entire indo. so yah..there's even computer labs, swimming pool and a kinda cafe..hee.. its totally a very ncie place..greeneries everywhere and cool weather..

we would have our breakfast at 6.30 am or so every morning and the food there is very nice..:) the people there treat you like kings and queens too.. simply too nice.. nicer than what you can find in JJ.. serious..haha.. and as i need to go there as an advance party (going there earlier than others) i met new friends and i mean alotta new friends.. and well.. Inspiration..

sometimes i think, if i didn't go for this trip.. would i have memories that i hold on so dear to? would i have met that special someone? well.. my heart was really touched during that trip.. regardless of friendship or anything..

the people there are warm hearted and they welcome you really with open arms and with an open heart.. though they are not good in english, they try their best to talk to you in english and really take good care of you whereever you go.. they even serve you your meals too.. such good company..really impresses me..

what we did in the 8 days are (1) attending their lessons (2) going out to dine in restaurants (3) free roaming outside (4) helping out in giving donations to those victims involved in the landslides and floods in the area (5) eating in many many places (my ice kachang susu and durian by the roadsides) (6) mass dance performances and song singing exchange (7) teaching english and songs to kindergarden children (8) painting the walls of the kindergarden (9) Debates and more debates (10) Freestlying Dance and free interaction with SMA Lokon Students (11) Party back in the dorm (12) MC for signing of MOUs (13) Photo Fever- Extreme (14) DOTA-Defence of the Ancients

its really alotta things right..haha.. its really fun.. and i didn't know they got quite some cool dances too.. though i would like to learn them.. but there's not enough time for me to learn.. so i was quite sad when i think back..

there's alotta things i regretted not doing there.. and though it was only like 8 days or 7 full days, our friendship bond is already beyond words that can describe..the night before when we need to leave for singapore.. we wrote notes to people we wanna give and in return, they initiated to give us something as momento so that we could remember them no matter where we are.. and its really very touching..

Hendra, if you read this.. thanks for the Harmonica that you've given me.. i really loved it and i already tried practicing it..i will blow it when i think of you or when i'm lonely..

i recieived chocolates,a RO collectible T-shirt, soft toys, keychains of great momento value, slips of paper, hugs, laughters and tears..

its really great knowing them.. and though we're far apart now.. our friendship will always last..

during the time when we're departing and leaving on the bus to the airport.. i gave my final good bye to those friends in SMA Lokon and we hugged and said our final words.. there was something that really impacted me the night before we leave..

Edric told me: " I'm afraid that this may be the last time we will see each other again. But don't worry, I shall be the wind and accompany you." It really touched my heart.. and other guys such as Widianto and Hendra.

I cried.. when the bus left the school..i just couldn't control it.. its such a forced separation and i've really gotten used to the life in Lokon.. that's why i feel a great sense of loss after I left them..and there's just mixed feelings bottling in up in my heart..

But during this trip.. I met a special person.. her name is Lingkan.. or Inspiration.. you should know why she's called inspiration.haha.. it was on the second day when i met her and its kinda weird but since that day i met her, the feeling of the whole trip began to change..haha.. perhaps its fate.. cuz it started out just with her name..

anyway.. now that i'm back in Singapore, i don't feel that used to it here.. its weird i know..but sometimes i prefer the life there as its so stress-free..but haha.. reality still gotta set in someday. and good things gotta end somehow..

but during my trip there.. i really miss all of my friends in JJ, especially yuko, the chinatown gang and our big big family..haha..but i'll never forget my OG members too.. i just really miss them..

Zhen zhu mei.. at first when you told me you didn't come, i was kinda sad.. but its ok..i think i understand le.. and i will see you guys in school really soon..and i hope we will all be still as close as ever..really miss your faces..

Finally, Lingkan and all of SMA Lokon students, hope to see you all again..:)

I will really miss all of you!

2006-02-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

For those in OG 29 who may not be staying in JJ for JAE.. I WILL REALLY MISS ALL OF YOU! :s

I don't know why.. but as the time for departure approaches me.. the sadness in me just amplifies and i can't help it but really miss all of you..you may not feel this way.. but that's at least how i feel towards all of you...

how i wish i can be there with all of you when you all received your JAE results..i'm really sorry i can't be there with you..and i'm feeling kinda sad cuz of that..

Especially for members of OG29, Si jia, Jia Zhen, Ming Xi, Yue Yun, Chin Hua, Ming Hor, Hei Wai..I'm really gonna miss all of you..so much..haiz.. but well.. everything gotta end someday de..
(T_T..)

I will need to go to Changi Airport to meet at 7am on monday morn,27th of Feb and my time of departure is around 9.. i know its too early and too inaccessible for you all to send me off..its ok de..:)

and for Yuko and Henry.. its ok.. don't worry if i'll get lonely there or don't feel bad at all..i think i will get used to it there de..haha.. there's at least some people there where i can play with de..and Mia's there too..so shouldn't be a problem..you ask me what you can do for me right? haha..study harder and be happy even without me lo..but i'll be back soon de..and help me in my studies if i can't cope..really..haha.. i'm not that smart wan..

anyway..i'm gonna miss all of you when I depart Singapore.. See ya people..Wish me a Bon Voyage..

now

2006-02-18T19:22:00.000+08:00

Hey people..i know i haven't been blogging in a while le..haha.. well.. quite alotta stuff happened lately..

things have changed so fast that it makes life suffocating.. and there's too much of unexpressed feelings.. because of certain circumstances, i had no choice but to bottle it up..haiz.. but well.. now things have settled down and come to an end of no return liao..but its good in a way too.. at least i won't be thinking so much about it..haha..

you might think i'm crazy, saying things in a language you don't understand..but haha..this is just to let you know what i've been thinking..

and things have changed quite alot in my life too..haha.. quite unexpectedly..but i'm happy and glad with it..:)

lately, i found that JC2s life is so sucky.. school life is now more dry, our syllabus are getting tougher and teachers are getting more objective based. There's just not as much time to do what i wanna do anymore.. though i can still cope with it, but i still gotta sacrifice some of my playing and going out time for school now le..well, i guess that's so much for A levels around the corner..haha.. i hope i can balance school life well and hope school won't be as boring anymore..

and one very fun thing that i've been doing the past few days is playing Ragnarok Online with my classmates lah..haha..somemore we formed a class guild..hahaha..its so cool man..just to party and whack enemies together..haha..i know i sound like a damn noob lah..but haha..its fun..at least i got something to do now..haha.. and i got another thing to play le..haha..para para..don't know why too..me and my daughter (Si Jia) tried playing and we were like hooked to the game..hahahaha.. ok lah.. that's all for now.. see ya guys again..

ja!

chiong ah!

2006-01-22T13:27:00.000+08:00

haha.. jing wan ^_- this is the link

http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1321&type=t&a_code=gJc2gRi8gBgyeBcYgZo4hJi1GZa2GJaqnTu2GZk3Odc0

just finished another of my CDAC article today about fireflyz..

now gonna chiong my other hw liao..haiz.. schooling schooling...J2 is so sianz..haha..

anyway..i just formed a miniature family in my OG! Joanne's my god-mother, Si jia's my daughter and well after her daughter is pretty messy liao..haha..complicated..shall talk other times.. hee..:p

sad..stories..memories..

2006-01-21T02:13:00.000+08:00

I know..I always look so cheerful, so optimistic, so happy wan..but just to say that I'm a human too..I have emotions.. and I have my ups and downs..I know its nothing big, but some people have gotten too used to my hyperactive and crazy nature that the other side of me seems to have shrunk into the smallest space of my shadows..

That's why, when that someone got to know my other side, he or she may not be able to accept it..and thus thought that I was fake..All along..its hurting...hurting till now.. I don't know how to explain this feeling..Its stupid, but I don't fake, to attract attention or what. I'm just Me..

anyway.. i was pretty sad just now.. due to some unknown reasons..and well..did some online stuff.. and Yuko sent me some stories off from the radio that is so sad..haha.. its really very sad.. but its nice.. although sad, it made me feel a little better now..tml is family outing le..hope i can feel better soon..hee..

hmm..

2006-01-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

Its a test I took from a webby that my friend sent me..its quite true though..hee..:P

Bryan, you're Cool as Ice

No doubt about it — you've got things under control. A thinker and a planner, you usually don't jump into anything without a plan to get in and a plan to get out. It's pretty safe to assume that you're the brainiac of your friends, and they turn to you when they need someone to take the lead.You're full of good ideas, and you've got the ability to execute them. You're also especially skilled at letting your head rule your heart. There's nothing you won't accomplish if you set your mind to it. Now that's cool.

Today was a boring day..haha..JC2 lives are getting more boring each day..and lessons are so repetitive le lo.. i find not much motivation for me..hope that my S papers will help challenge and stimulate myself and find the joy in studying..haha.. these few days have been really chionging homeworks..and well..doing lotsa stuffs in school lah.. hee.. anyway.. after school i went talking to alotta people, to Eric, to Hui Min, Rachel, Yuko, my OG members,and Angela ..

went to meet up with daphne..and she saw this cd she really liked..haha..i just remembered the title Lovely..haha.. and we went to walk walk and talk in JP cuz i got OG dinner at nightz there in Jp.. and she went back around 6..

i changed and saw Wei Qiang and Rong qing playing Time Crisis 2 in the arcade and well..the same old me..i played the drum game..haha..at first i screwed the first attempt..but i did well for the second..playing level 82 toccata again..haha..crazy right..and we went to meet the others who are coming..

then is our OG DINNER!!! omg... its PIZZA HUT AGAIN!!! haha..but this time we ate prosperity pizza and we played ZHONG JI MI MA..haha..the food really played by us till siao lah. so disgusting..hee..but its always fun this way..then i saw yuko walking around..haha..

and we celebrated Xiling's Birthday~! haha.. we bought oreo cake for her.. and we just cut and ate the cake after she made a wish..

then my OG went back le..kinda disappointed that it ended so fast.. but.. well.. i wish for a next better OG outing..:) really hope that i could have the outing again.. haha..

after that i went to meet yuko and she's together with her OG member.. so we walked around and to the pasar malam and walked even more and saw some very counterfeit billabong berms which is $10 and states Original Billabong..haha..yah right.. :p

anyway..some of the designs were quite nice.. and then initially wanted to play arcade de..but too bad..the arcade closed le..strange..it felt so much like Friday today..maybe cuz i'm released early ba..haha... well..tml is another day le..and i hope that it'll be a very bright day..:)

rush again busy..

2006-01-17T01:41:00.000+08:00

its already very late now..1.41 am..haha.. i just finished updating myself on the psp news and homebrews lah..haha.. and just surfing the net..feel that i should update this blog liao..haha..if not it will be dead very soon..:P

so many day and so many things to say..it starts all the way from orientation lah..i didn't mention much about the camp..but i guess it was hell lotta experience for my campers..hee..its fun definitely..the same stuffs done..the games, the food, the night games, the cheers and the dance..but what excites me most.. is when i see my campers..haha.. especially OG29!! haha.. just love you all..all of you.. haha.. its my first time being a proper OGL, cuz i was a shadow last time and was involved in other stuff, and being the vice-family head although is a little busy, but nonetheless its very fun lo..haha..

i really appreciate the help you all have given me, OG29, not making things really difficult for me and well.. i got some very enthu people in my OG..haha..like Ani, PAP, Hor Fun, Chien Ru, Zhuo Jing, Mel and some very supportive wans like Ming Xi, Ka Wai, Rong Qing and alot others who made this whole thing so much fun..haha.. it wouldn't be this enjoyable without you guys.. ^_^ and we played some games and songs with Yuko's OG too, OG8..its first time merging lah..and well..very fun too..haha..all fun lah..nothing else to say..haha..
all is can say, ORIENTATION 2006 was a success..!

and these past week..been trying very hard to catch up on my work..copying notes, completing assignments..though my hols assignment not yet completed, but i'll try to complete it soon..haha..clear all the loads..and before i came online, i just pia finish my physics of fluids from head to toe..haha.. siao right.. somemore very tired now..haha..

i've been going to Fireflyz to study..and well.. play lah..you know my nature..haha.. and studying with Yuko too.. on Sat, after her Family outing, i met her at clementi to accompany her to get her bursary award.. she very bad lah..just walk away and never stay throughout.. :P and i even went to take a photo of her taking the award..haha..using the phone that she lent me..poor resolution though..lol.. and after that went her house to take her stuff cuz we planning to study afterwards.. and managed to see her sis and what her house is like.. hee..very Jap-style..haha...hmmm..

then we went to JE for dinner at around 5 to 6, and drank a very nice ice honeydew sago!! haha.. just loved that drink..and yuko , just went for the usual Yam..:P and we studied in JEC till 10.30 pm and went home..

next day, she said she wanted to come my house to study, but i woke up late and made her wait..haha... so she came at around 2 plus..lame lah..she message me not coming cuz got something on..then i really thought that its real and asked her what happened, when i was about to reply, she came knocking on my door..haha.. very mischievious right? haha..then we studied while she was watching sakura..and my productivity was damn low lah..can't even do much..haha.. and we went down to get dinner.. we then studied till around 10.30pm..haha..

i was crazy these 3 days playing a game called WE LOVE KATAMARI, you wanna know what's the game about? find out yourself..haha.. its a crazy rolling game.. roll stuff onto the ball and make it larger and larger till you can roll whatever comes to you mind.. i have rolled from as small as 20cm to as large as 1.6km..haha.. imagine what i've rolled..haha.. on friday i played from 11pm till 4am..and sat i played from 11 plus till 5 am..haha..and i completed the game by rolling up the continents and the planets and the sun!haha.. crazy game.. anyway.. me tired le..gotta go..tml still got school..sianz..haha.. see ya..

Orientation have finally started..

2006-01-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

Orientation have finally started!! yeah!!! haha.. well..its very fun..but tiring at the same time..these two days are Admin Day 1 and Admin Day 2.. after each day's programme of cheers, games, Og time and dance.. we will have a dry run of the next day and a long debrief..(actually still ok lah..haha..just very sleepy..especially today.. hee..)

my OG is OG 29!!!!! hahaha..it rocks lah..at least the campers are starting to joke, and cheer and enjoying themselves already..and i'm very sure that some of them are anticipating the camp already..heee.. today's spirit and mood was much better than yesterday..and finally i went up to lead some cheers and taught alota games to my OG!! hee.. the niu nai game.. the firehunterearthquake.. where i even came up with something called APPLE..hahaha.. jacob's ladder..and hai dai!! hahahah..

went to buy OG stuff with yuko yesterday in west mall and some food for my og 29.. hee..i was touched cuz the campers thanked me today..:p awww... and finally got to eat BK for such a long time..heee.. and i got a coupon that allows $400 off star cruise lah..and i didn't even know.. yuko just told me about it..haha..

today we went to JP to buy OG stuffs again.. i. yuko. celine. zheng xiang. and joanne.. we kept laming from the school all the way there lah..hahahaha.. and after we got our stuffs already yuko left home first cuz we decided to eat in Lai lai.. and the usual me.. i was like laming like crazy too.. and i didn't know that joanne is so LAME!!! haha.. bo liao right..haha.. anyway.. these two days were fun.. but only tiring.. i hope that the Orientation Camp will be a huge success!! JIA YOU EVERYONE!!!

yeah!!!

2005-12-31T18:04:00.000+08:00

hee..i know i long long long time never blog liao..haha..about 10 days lah..hmmm..i shall start by saying what i did during the past ten days.. a crazy ton outside during christmas eve till the next day of christmas, a short but tiring OGL camp, and then preparations for the Orientation '06!!!

haha..first..i shall talk about the tonning first..

on the christmas eve, i went out at around 12.30 to meet mark, mavis, kenneth and luke and his friends at tiong to have lunch and then down to expo to watch THE MAGIC OF LOVE magic show..its a very nice and touching show..but most of the magic tricks and plot was more or less expected..i know its hard to perform and carry out such a big event.. but its not exceptionally good..but well..of course..credit still goes to all the crews and people behind the show.. well done FCBC(Faith Community Baptist Church)!!!

after that.. i went to tamara's house for a wonderful dinner with her parents and some people that i do not know..hee..got too many to name lah.. but well..they are all very friendly..hee..and i ate cheese fondue!! haha..i drank too lah..and my face turned red..hee..:P

as you know i've been very crazy lately.. i decided to call yuko and meet her to exchange presents..and she gave me a very cute blue ball-like soft toy..its just so soft and smooth lah..i really like it a lot..and its on my bed now..yuko even named it "bibi"..hahaha..she thought she was only meeting me for a while..but then i asked her to go walk walk with me..or ton for the night..haha..and so we went to city hall to walk walk..and then to esplanade.. and we saw Zhiyao spraying the artificial snow at his friends and he joined us to walk a bit but later went home with his friends..
its so what lah.. they count down for christmas le i didn't even know..haha.. cuz i was on the phone with henry when i heard his side at orchard counting down 3 2 1..haha.. oh well..

its around 12 plus already..and me and yuko keep talking crap with jap..and i thought her a new phrase..:p Anatawa atashino jinsen wa ichiban taisetsu nahito desu (it means you're the most important person to me in my life) hee.. and we decided to meet wei yuan and henry who were out earlier in orchard..we tried to take train..but we can't seem to find an extrance to go in..so we walked all the way from city hall to cine..and got lost in the end at bras basah road..haha.. and luckily got two very good shepards.. weiyuan and henry to "gan us these two lost meh meh"..haha.. to cine.

up to cine.. its 3 am and we saw wei bin with his secondary school friends waiting to watch Narnia and then Mr Leow too with other jjcians!!haha.. we all sure rocks man..haha.. and we saw so many people we knew in cine..its still so so crowded.. we wanted to watch movie initially..but then all was booked!! and so the 4 of us decided to go to E-MAX to play lan..but all the coms were booked too..haiz..and then we got no choice..but to play..X box..hahahaha..pathetic right.. sometimes..we got no choice..haha..and its 3.50 per hour.. we played HALO 2..and of course i won lah..haha..cuz i better with consoles ma..:p please pardon me..ermm...haha.. and henry was really funny..they all just felt like vomitting and really dizzy..cuz of first person visual turning lag...hahahaa.. who ask you to see huh..:P

and it was around 4 plus to 5 when we went to the nearby 7 eleven to get us some food to eat..and well..more stories to tell..but haha..too long liao..and we went outside Cafe Cartel to sleep till around 7.30..and then up to the cinema where the sofas are till around 9 plus..hee...go to my friendster and you will see some of the photos..:)

then..we went to PS for breakfast..and wei yuan got the biggest drumstick..cuz he was the first customer..that's what i call the season of sharing..haha..and the 4 crazy guys of us..went to take neoprints!!!! or around that time..haha..and then we went to play at two arcades there..time crisis.. drum mania V, DDR and even PARA PARA!!haha.. it was fun and tiring..we were like sweating crazy..

then cuz henry wanted to buy bag..wei yuan accompanied henry to go see bag at far east while i and yuko went to wisma.. and then she gave me another christmas present!! hee..and finally after walking like hell..we met again for lunch at around 5 pm at taka.. and then we went back home hehe..and i went out of my house a total of 30 HOURS!!!haha.. cool right??? :P

and so.. that was christmas..huge chunk hor..and for the ogl camp..it was like any other ogl camps..with games and cheers..and songs!! but it was really nice..cuz i really lost myself in the camp..cheering and singing..hee.. and i just found out that i and yuko had some kinda telepathy..cuz of some lightsticks..hahahahahaa.. and everyone was crazy too.. we even had BBQ for dinner!! and i wanna thank all those who helped the others cook food and took care of those who didn't get a chance to eat..wei yuan and zhen xiang.. you all especially ah..haha..it was just a very enjoyable camp..and through this camp..i feel my family getting more bonded..:) F6 ROX!!!!hahah..

and these past two days..we have been having dry run in school and doing some major deco stuff.. in the hall.. although our family is the slowest..but i find that the end result is one that is both very well done and unique.. thanks guys!!!! for all those who have made the wall deco possible and put in the extra effort..hehe..

gotta go liao.. i will come back to blog soon..maybe after orientation..and i will have a big block of stuff to say liao..hee..bye..:)

hee

2005-12-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hee..i'm back here blogging liao..hehe..past few weeks didn't know what to blog and didn't really have the mood to blog at all..haha.. so pai seh..

hmm..anyway.. i've been really going out quite alota recently.. till i really lost tracked where i went and what i did le..haha.. but of course, i remembered what happened yesterday..haha..

yesterday, me and my secondary school friends, Astley, KC, Jason and Joe went to watch King Kong and did some window shopping at orchard area there..haha..what to say.. kong is a very nice movie.. really worth the money! haha..189mins of hard-core action and refined storyline (though extremely typical) but the plot was quite smooth till the end..
now i shall say somethings about the movie..haha..you can skip this part though..:p but i know you won't..hee..

*****SPOILERS AHEAD*****
first hour of the movie was in NY, second hour in the vast prehistoric rainforest swarming with dinos and huge and disgusting insects!!! third hour was back in NY when the Kong was captured and where he wrecked havoc there..
there's alota talking in the first hour, where they talked about how they found the island and how the main characters came into play..second hour they kinda discoursed from the route to Singapore and landed on the shores of SKULL ISLAND.. where they fought against the titanic waves and the pounding currents.. this is where the climax starts as the captain and the crew struggled to prevent the ship from crashing into the huge stones around the shallow waters..
they then made their first bloody contact with the skull island natives..they are all black..haha..wonder how they actually turned black..maybe their eating habits?haha..
someone was killed in the process by the native executioner with their very crude weapon something akin a club..until they was saved by the captain by some heavy arms power..when they were back on the ship, later did they know that Ann was actually captured back to the island.. where she's forced to go through a very inhumane ritual and sacrifice to their god, Kong. I guessed that the natives were trying to use Ann to so-called appease Kong..haha..so the crew and some other guys heavily armed, ventured into the vast stretch of unknown terrain..
people started dying when they progress deeper into the forest in search of Ann as they are swarmed by dinos of all sizes..they include Brachciosaurus, some kinda Velociraptor, T Rex and some alligator kinda dino..haha..they kinda made fun of the dinos in the movie..and its an easter egg to see a bunch of brachciosaurus falling together helplessly and cruelly to the cause of their heavy weight..and well..THOUGH ALOTTA DINOS DIED IN THE SHOW, EITHER FELL OR CRUSHED TO DEATH, NO ANIMALS WAS HARMED IN THE MOVIE.. :)
enough of dinos liao..there was some very ugly, disgusting encounters with the huge insects in the movie.. the swarming of the insects are still acceptable.. akin some STARSHIP TROOPERS aliens..
****WARNING, DISGUSTING!****
disgusting part is when the massive, long, slimy, disgusting, thick leeches with teeths around their round feeding mouth started attacking one of the guys in the show..and when he tried using a blade to cut through the leeches, his head was sucked from one of the leeches that attacked from above, and was sucked in forcefully, leaving the body struggling..with the head in the leech's mouth..instantly, another leech came and sucked his other arm into its mouth, leaving his other arm with the blade hacking into thin air, trying in futile to retaliate the leeches when his limbs are already feasted upon..and its not only one leech..its 6 or 7..large wans..after which, his body was even sucked and feasted by the other leeches..what can i say..someone must not have fed it for decades..hahahah.. This is so far the most and only disgusting part of the show..other than this..its nothing much..and all very nice content and love story..:)
*****END******

so much said about the leeches.. the kong did made alotta appearances in the movie about how the 25feet tall beast interacted with the very attractive NY girl, Ann.. its kinda funny to see how Ann made kong laughed in the movie..imagine that!! and kong actually enjoyed pushing Ann to the floor everytime she stands up..haha..what the.. but it was nice..Kong even have his own attitude..hee.. ok lah..all in all..its a very nice movie.. but i went rushing to the toilet after that..haha..it was too long a movie..hee..

then after which, me and my friends went to have some korean cuisine near Ps..kinda spicy..but its very nice..hehe..and i went home after that..

i don't know why..i've been sleeping later and later these few days.. up till 6 am in the morn then i start sleeping..there was even one day when i woke up at 5pm in the evening..haiz..don't know what's gotten unto me too..hehe..but i've been a good boy lately..finally doing my hw liao..hehe.. now more than half finished..still ok ba..THOSE WHO HAVEN"T STARTED DOING, PLEASE START!! just a reminder..hehe..

today just had OGL meeting and we relearnt OH MY DARLING and YEAH..they are both very cool dances..and i like them alot..haha..yeah is just too cool..:p after that, we finally distributed our family identity stuffs!! shoelaces, bean bear, landyard, case and personalised names!haha.. so much effort for that..all thanks to Hui Qin..:) THANKS!!

After the meeting, i went out with my dear mei mei (Yuko) to Sim Lim to look at some mp3 players, MMC cards and my MS Pro Duo memory cards.. and we were like combing the place lah..haha..ask here ask there..and we even saw a customer and a shop assistant quarelling over a product! and the assistant seems to be BU SHUANG liao..he doesn't even want to sell him the product..cuz i heard him saying.. "just now you come don't want to buy, now i also don't want to sell you".. well..haha.. just stating ba..no comments.. but well.. we didn't go into the shop cuz of that.. then we went to other shops there..and mei mei finally bought her 256MB MMC at $29 with life time warranty!!haha..cool sia..and i got my eyes on a 1 GB MS Pro Duo at $120.90.. quite cheap le lah..hee..its an investment..now i only have a measly 32MB MS Pro Duo that only enable me to put 4 songs in my PSP..haiz..haha..

then after mei bought her stuff..we went to eat..and i can admit i was super lame..haha..guess i was too tired from the day's stuff le..hehe.. and we stopped by to have our vegetarian food..haha..

then we went to walk walk..and played arcade!!haha.. we two crazy people..she started playing Time Crisis II, then i played my Drumania V2 and tried out the new songs..was kinda ex..but its worth the try..for such a crazy guy like me..and then we played photo-hunt!!haha..yuko was really good at it..or am i too tired?haha..we cleared 28 stages..hee..but still can't clear one freaky guy called smart wing or something..haha..

then we went tiong..thought could buy some dim sum for her friend who lives near there..but then..all was kinda closed liao..haha..i boarded home on bus later and yuko went buying dim sum at tiong market le..well..what to say..its a fun day..:) hee..

after-lude

2005-12-08T00:30:00.000+08:00

Chance has brought us together, but at the wrong time.

There is nothing in love that can please both parties, someone must sacrifice, in order for the other to move on. Compromise is the Key.

Love is nothing that can be explained or solved, and it is nothing that we will truly understand. The more you understand it, the more it exhaust you.

We are both mentally tired.

About love and like...

2005-12-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

These are some phrases of what i strongly believe in and what i thought these past few days..

Love can only be felt with the blind heart.

Bliss can only be achieved when our love is embraced.

Its not how long we are together, but it is in fact the moments we spent together and the memory that determines the depth of love and like.

Sometimes, its not the sight of the person you like that saddens you, its the memory of the person that saddens you. As long as the memory exists, so does the pain.

It doesn't matter, even if we have lost our memories, as long as time passes, there will be new memories. As long as you're there, bliss can still be achieved..

In the past, my dreams had been reality, but now, my reality was merely a dream.

My dreams have turned to old reality.

I care for you more than anyone else.

Sometimes, though you love the correct person, but you love that person at the wrong time.
Sometimes, though you love the person at the wrong time, but you love the correct person.
Sometimes, you love the wrong person at the wrong time.
Seldom will you love the correct person at the correct time.

unexplainable..

2005-12-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

for the past many days that i did not blog.. simply too many things just happened..and its not easy to just say everything out here..

back around a week ago..things was still the same for me..studying..and playing..and well..maybe spending my time going out again...i spent time with my friends and well, was kinda happy..i went out to sentosa with my ogls.. and well..brought back tons of sunburns..and i got an extremely serious sunburn that resulted in swelling of my leg.. how bad can it get.. and straight after the outing, i went straight to wei yuan's house to stay over.. then.. i was still ok..just that i can't walk properly with my leg swollen..i got back home the next afternoon after going to queensway with wei yuan to string and regrip his racket..

anyway..wei yuan..thanks for doing so much things for me.. but i guess there's no need to do what you did in the future le.. if you wanna know just ask me ba..

but lately..3 days ago..i realised that i did something very wrong.. although in such things, there's no right or wrong.. but if i haven't been such a fool..none of these would have happened..

up till now.. i'm still very sad.. because the situation just worsened.. i simply can't explain..things have been happening so fast that before i can really recover..and stand back.. another came..

it was just a blink of an eye..
time has given no mercy at all..
it was still bright and sunny..
but just with a flash of the sky,
it turned an omnimous cloud shrouding everything there is..

maybe we were too close.. that's why you stepped back.. but i'm very sure that my feelings are true..but in some cases..even if one have true feelings.. it doesn't help at all..whether you like it or not.. it takes two hands to clap..and as i've said before.. bliss can only be achieved when both party's love is embraced..but in this case.. it can never be bliss anymore..

haiz..i don't even know why i'm so sad..i'm just so weak.. or is my feelings really true? I'm just so sad.. its as if i've lost everything.. though i have almost everything now.. nothing seems to distract me..
i'm still trapped..
in the mirage...

why has this dawned on me?? why?? maybe it was liking a person at the wrong time.. maybe it was liking the wrong person at the correct time.. but why couldn't it be liking the right person and the correct time?? am i really that bad ma??? i'm not right..

|||||but for that someone who have seen this.. please don't feel sad or feel that you're at fault or anything.. i'm just trying to feel better by saying all of my feelings here.. i know its stupid.. but i'm trying every single way to make myself feel better..and please.. don't make yourself scarce.. it will just hurt me more..|||||

i used to drown myself with games to distract myself.. but now it no longer works.. maybe this feeling i have is just too deep.. and that its truly a true feeling ba..
those reading this may feel confused.. but its ok..just read on..

i'm starting to dwell into a world of dreams..
where reality no longer seems real..
and dreams are the one that realise me..

all these are simply too confusing.. and i'm now just very confused about what had happened..and i have no idea now..what should i do.. or just undo everything there is..i hope someone explains to me what happened..

i tried to be happy..and tried talking to my friends..but its to no avail at all..and thanks mei mei..(yuko) for helping me so much.. your kor kor loves ya..

i may not seem sad at all sometimes.. but actually.. as time passes by..the memories etched in me will just devour more of my happiness.. and just making me sadder by the moment..its just a vicious cycle of pain.. how i wish..i could just get out of this unrelenting downward spiral..

i just feel like crying..even at the instance i'm typing this entry..well of course its not the normal bryan you're seeing anymore..

haiz.. despite this..
i'm still trying to find a way..
where i can just drown this sorrow away..

it can become quite scary and helpless.. to see what a state i'm in now.. and it may be the fact that i'm actually emotional or weak is such issues that this thing actually have such an impact on me..and its a huge impact..sometimes i just feel.. who actually cares about how i feel.. if i were never to say out..haiz.. nvm ba..

I'm just too tired to type this now..

THE UNBEATABLE TRIO NIGHTZ Part 2

2005-11-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

haha..all these pictures was taken, so as to remember that very nightz.. that the three of us really let everything go..and play.. without any worries.. The Nightz was still Young.. And there are the best of pals beside you.. You Roam the streets.. You are actually free.. What could be better than this? This is what i call Value-Added Holidays..:)
haha.. candid isn't it? this is to prove how late we were in the nightz then..ITS CLOSED...-_-

hmmm..mm..!! haha..this pic was taken when we were at the midnightz food centre.. we were like damn hungry then.. and when we saw this place..its like woo!! haha.. then we just went in and kinda scavaged for food..:) There's like Leong Tow Fu (haha.. don't know lah..anyhow spell.. sound right can le..), satay, malay food?, seafood, Fried Kuay Diao and Porriage..so the very hungry me..decided to feast on the porriage!! haha.. then Wei Yuan just went to buy..and on the Second pic.. you can see the full chicken porriage (ji si zhou) with the 3 spoons.. so are you can see.. we are sharing on a bowl of chicken porriage..haha.. and very quickly.. LESS THAN 3 MINUTES.. we finished everything..haha..record time man..

Ah.. look how carefree the guy behind Wei Yuan is..hahahah.. still got who.. henry lo..haha.. and the picture to the right is actually be sitting on a stone that is always beside the traffic lights haha.. yah.. you guessed it right..this picture was taken when we were waiting for the green man to come.. haha.. we got some VERY FAST SHOTS..haha..

The 2 pictures above are taken in the CITY HALL train station when i wanted to take the first train back home and henry wanted to go to his work place in a carnival.. XIONG RIGHT?? poor henry.. slog so much for work..haiz.. Anyway..haha..let's get back.. we were so tired..and while waiting for the first train.. henry and I slept and lied down on the floor in one corner of the station.. haha.. guess how shag we were..to keep a momento of this..we decided to take a photo..haha.. And the photo on the right is when i got REALLY bored..and saw this thing that is the nearest to us..so as the TITLE SUGGEST.. PHOTO-ME.. so as a very kind person.. I FINALLY FULFILLED THE SIGN's WISH.. I Photo-ed IT!! NEAT eh? =p

well..its almost 2 am now.. and i still got NANO tech research tml..so i shall continue this very long 3 episode series of.. THE UNBEATABLE TRIO NIGHTZ.. =P

THE UNBEATABLE TRIO PART 2

2005-11-29T01:01:00.000+08:00

Its really a very fun experience going out so late in the nightz..and even after our work..where we are already so super SHAG and not even thinking of going home.. so these three crazy but nonetheless fun lunatics decided to try something so crazy that we've never tried before.. THE UNBEATABLE TRIO NIGHT.. haha.. anyway..see the photo below?? the one to the most right..haha..THAT IS HENRY.. HE's HUGGING TO A POLE!!! OMG.. haha..

The ghostly white images are actually me, Wei Yuan and Henry standing on top of a street lamp located near a tree and doing whatever crap that we feel deem fit for that very wonderful night out in the streets..! :) And well.. as always..you can still see Wei Yuan advertising his very very very very very very very favourite COKE DRINK!! BUT of course.. I LIKE COKE LIME BETTER!!! This is my blog ma..haha.. COKE LIME COKE LIME..:P

Well.. although these pictures are kinda blur and dark.. you should know that these wonderful pictures are actually taken at night..haha.. duh.. but yah.. the low resolution is all the result of the low-quality VGA camera phone..haiz.. which doesn't enable night mode at all..so well.. bear with it a little lah yah..? =p

oh my.. just look at this.. henry!! he's actually doing a FREEZE!! i would never expect him to do that..haha..

all right.. fun stuffs..

2005-11-17T01:42:00.000+08:00

haha..despite all those boring sad sad work stuff.. i still enjoyed myself these few days lo.. haha..
wah.. these few nights i slept at almost 2am everyday..don't know doing what.. chatting.. or playing?? i not sure too..haha.. i think chatting the most le ba..that's why i go Fireflyz work like very tired like that..then even today hui min told me that i seem more tired than her..haha.. she's already very tired lo..so i'm like..haha..

these few days at work wasn't boring at all!! haha.. guess got Rachel and Yuko ( my mei mei) to pei wo..hehe.. :P i really wanna thank you all for peiing me..then during my work time i also took sometime off to study lo..haha.. have been studying chem lately..cuz Rachel was doing chem the other day..haha.. then i kanna influenced..:P

then the day before, Jason, Yuko, and Rachel was like playing the DTXMania i installed in one of the fireflyz com like siao..haha.. its hard lah..really..but its nonetheless very very very fun..haha.. anyway..DTXmania is a drum simulation game..hehe..just use keyboard to tap lo.. hehe..but be assured your keyboard won't spoil de..cuz i try so many times le..and i'm not using the same keyboard to type all these.. :P haha.. then after we all played.. yuko and i went off to je popular and bought some stationery..

i really wanna find one day to go the arcade to play the drum game..and well.. my guai mei mei promised to accompany me go play..hahaha.. so good..hehe.. found another one who likes to play the game.. when i go to the arcade..i usually just go in and play that drum game only..haha..but other games is still ok lo..:P

hmmm.. weird..its like holidays le..but well..i still go school everyday.. and well.. can't really let my hols be a real hols lo..cuz well..i have to work ma..hehe.. shoganii (no choice in jap)..haha..so well..i think i can't slack anymore le..haha..

then guess what?? i brought DVD to watch in firefly yesterday..haha.. it's an anime.. the name is very long lah...but well..sharon lent it to me..its from shu jun..haha.. its about this guy where he can see lines.. and when he uses his dagger to cut the lines, the object shatters..and the whole story is a very sad and dark vampiric story.. haha.. but throughout still got lots of crappy talks.. and alotta love story..haha..Arcrueid!! haha.. she's an 800 years old vampire..well..ok..nvm..haha..

then today there's actually NJC people who came to our school and look at our Fireflyz..haha.. around 21 of them ba.. then hui min gave them a briefing and talked about it lo..and they came in to look.. they never take off their shoes!!! arghh.... cuz the carpet supposed to be very clean de ma..haha..shampooed ok..:P then i have to vacuum the whole place again..haha..the whole day was quite sianz lah..cuz no one to pei wo..except jason..haha.. but well.. haha..

how i wish i can join Yuko and Rachel at the Sentosa outing..though nothing much to do there..but at least can go out ma..hahahah.. i really wanna go out lo..haha.. though i go out..but its always school..hahahaha.. i just wish for some fun lah..my life turning mono soon..:P

oh yah..lately wei yuan hasn't been coming to firefly..haha.. i guess there's nothing much to do there ba..hehe.. its ok lah.. just that i wish he can just don't think too much sometimes.. its very hard lah.. but well if you see this.. you don't think too much k? as long as you happy can le..haha..my good friend ma..how can bang seh him..:P

ok lah.. i rubbing my eyes liao..now is like 2.05am.. so late.. and i'm tired le..haha.. ja..

Timeless Days

2005-11-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

Timeless Days

Since starting work in firefly and being so occupied by so many projects and events and competitions..

I feel tired...

and sometimes because of this, my commitment for other stuff have gradually decreased..

is this a selfish act?

or issit just that i really have no time?

There's quite some things i'm working onto now.. firefly work, Nano project, family 6 stuffs, my long forgotten studies, squash and my own family stuff...

I just feel burnt out sometimes..that's why i may be pushing new events away at times..i really beg for your understanding..for those who approached me.. haha..but well..i doubt they read this la...haha..

So, yah..this is how i feel after being involved in so many things and for such a long period...seriously.. since the first three months in shadows..i haven't really rested at all.. that's what i can really say.. but well.. there's this kinda situations whereby we can't control at all..

Days just pass by so fast.. and i even didn't realise the date..my biological clock have long stopped and lost track of time.. things that happen yesterday may seem like today if i were to think back tomorrow.. that's how thing's like.. hmmm..i hope to find enjoyment ba..haha..Ku Zhong Zuo Le..

its a damn fun day!!

2005-11-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

today was an extremely long day.. well...hmm..should say yesterday..haha..cuz now 12 le ma..anycase... today is super super fun...

first in the morning is painting of family flags..haha.. luckily i wasn't that very late lah..cuz the rest just started..hehe..then we painted the flags..i'm in OG29~~~!!!! woo hoo!! haha.. then we painted the bean bear..and the EXACT replica and even nicer version of the draft onto the flag..haha..who says we can't draw what we presented?hahaaa.. for those who know what i talking bout..no offense lah.. just wanna say there're a few good artists in my group..hahahahaha.. ok.. well..

then after that i was dismissed early to go for the firefly meeting.. and mel bought me a mc chicken!! so nice of her..haha.. and i just ate and did a lotta stuff after that..preparing games..run here and there..making sure everything's ok..and as more people come..i felt more and more nervous le..hehe..then comes the real games!!! ah!! haha..i was so crazy..and super super uptight..cuz there's just so many things that i'm uncertain about..no experience ma..hahahaha.. so.. i just gathered my gamemasters..gave a briefing..and then did a firefly cheer!! haha.. our first ever cheer.. FIRE FIRE FIREFLY!! haha..its short but yet very team building..:P and then here we go..chiong ah!! haha..

the fish game ah...so jia lat..but i really pei fu the gamemasters.. lu xin, meng how and wen han..all damn pro..haha..they never give up though the game screwed up..but they continue on..and never complained at all!!haha.. i really wanna thank them..:) the kids was like.. taking the guppies like siao lah.. like no body's business..we tried hard..but to no avail to stop them..then we tried to slow down the game..and it worked!! haha.. finally..after around 1 hour.. we decided to close the station..hehe.. they all taped the tub like crazy lo..then i even removed the title board in order to let them know that we closed le..haha..

---------------------------WARNING! HERE COMES THE FUN PART------------------------
all the stalls are very well done..and the mad maths people are like good man..though not many of the people go to that station..but they still carried on with the spirit!! haha..nice work people..and all the games was quite successful.. hehe.. nice job everyone!! then we all rushed back to the conference room to have a final briefing..hehe..

then we went cleaning.. i was in charge of the games ma..then we all carried the guppies left to the equipment room..and as we pushed the trolley with the guppies.. its like ER..haha.. (emergency room) and we are like the doctors..haha.. then MIA even ask me mouth to mouth CPR with the fishes..cuz they all like dying soon..haha..no lah..moving slowly..hehe.. then i told her..i could like do 1000 CPR at one go..haha..

then we need to change the water for the guppies..and i went to the girls toilet with yuko( my mei mei)..and then filled the water..she was like..splashing me with water like siao lo..haha..until the left half of me is all wet...VERY WET!! haha.. then i sprayed her back by shaking my head near her..then she call me a DOGGY..haha..she even like stick UHU GLUE on my whole arm earlier..until my mao kanna ba guang le..haha.. anyway.. its very long since i had so much fun le..haha.. splash splash splash..

then the "white angel of the night" was like mopping the floor from corridors to corridors..and not leaving a single spot of dirt on the floor..haha..you're so so helpful..but where's my muah chee?? i never eat dinner lei..sobz..haha..ok..pardon me..haha..

then after that we went to have a chain JJ cheer!!!! WOO HOO!!!haha.. and the others was playing with the whistle sparklers..haha.. so nice!!! i didn't play lah..was watching some quite impressive magic tricks..haha..and i even saw a spoon bending trick!! that magician's power man..haha..

then the whole whole lot of us went to SPC to buy somethings to eat..but i was eating my dinner then..hmmm..at 10.45?haha.. still ok lah..i ate the leftovers finger food..haha..not really very nice..but well.. we gotta eat..hehe..at the bus stop, we were like making so much noise that even jia min from 12th storey can hear our voice from below..hahahaha..then after saying good bye to all of them..we took our bus and went back le..hehe..

CONCLUSION: IT WAS A DAMN FUN DAY

SOLITUDE

2005-11-09T01:28:00.000+08:00

Solitude

Each Flag being hoisted on my New Ground,

Represents another 10 miles I'm away from you.

Routines, Obligations, Fame & Control,

Is it really Worth the Clue?

My World is decimating.. Slowly dissolving...

into a Monochromic Dimension of Stillness

The Darkness is mercilessly cornering me,

Can I be fred from this Entrapment?

The Excruciating feel is suffocating me,

IT stretches every inch.

My senses immune to every movement,

only registering plain stillness.

Melancholic expressions fill my hallway,

they are nothing but uninvited lodgers.

Pessimistic thoughts fill the Grey,

they are nothing yet unbreakable emotions.

feeling all better now..

2005-11-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

i really wanna thank my friends who cared about me when i was on the verge of breaking down..cuz was really sad yesterday lo..so that's why wrote all those crap..haha..its irrationale if i were to read it again ba..maybe just spur of the moment? or just a sudden rush of blood to my head?

haha..in any case..i'm feeling much better now.. and thanks wei yuan..for keeping the night company with me on the phone..and listening to all my problems and making me happy again.. you're good lah..i can't deny..haha..but well..shan't say too much ah..later you too proud..haha.. (jk jk)

hmmm.. these few days really spent all my energy and effort on my firefly stuff..the opening is on 12th of nov.. so well..its our big day..:) and i gotta make sure that my games and all the stuff are smooth smooth flowing..haha..

i went for squash friendly yesterday at sp..and i played 3 matches lo..all lost la..but well.. its experience that counts for me..they are quite strong lo..aiya..given so many courts and so much time to play..they are of course stronger than us.. that's a fact..hmm...sad enough..i only won one set 9-8 against on of the players... the others just 9-4 and 9-3 ba.. can't remember..and throughout the 3rd match..i've already lost my stamina..haha.. gotta train my stamina soon la..but well..its very tiring..we played till 9 something then head on to clementi mac to eat with leungyu, syafiq and wei yuan..we were so hungry la..haha..so funny..

then today i went to school for dry run and making sure everything is ok for firefly..and went to bugis to buy prizes for the games on the actual day..and huimin treated me to malay cuisine along the bugis shop alleys.. its very nice lah..but then too bad..we ordered a stingray dish that was kinda too hot for us to handle..then we kept drinking water..so funny..haha.. then went back to school on a cab..(yeah!) and the uncle was like talking about how blood types can result in some people being more prone to some diseases and how it affects their diets..what sweet and salty food..all very doubtful indeed..haha.. but well..its fun sometimes to hear the opinion of a seasoned taxi driver man..hehe.. and we reached school at around 8 lo..and then i watched The Great Challenge by Yamakasi..its an ok show la..but i still prefer the first part.. its better lo..haha..

hmm..i wonder what i will do tml.. maybe i will do some preparations for my pw ba.. hehe.. i hope that tml will be a better day..:)

very very troubled..who will actually understand?

2005-11-04T23:47:00.000+08:00

haiz..i just too lousy a person to be..lack of experience.. not even welcomed by friends..what's wrong with me?? is it the selfish environment or issit me myself who is selfish? issit selfishness itself that has caused to much unseen unhappiness?????

I'm so confused.. so very confused...

there's too many things i wish to do..so many things that i need to do.. so many things that i must do.. and so many things that i cannot do.. there's just so many things not within my control at all..

i suck at squash..i suck in leading.. i suck in human relations.. i suck in so much things.. so what if i'm a jack of all trades and all rounded? there's nothing that i specialised..

i'm not even good at sports..not even fit to be a sportsman, why did i then venture into squash? i am doubting myself.. i am losing confidence and reassurance..

things just don't go my way sometimes.. i am actually very sad.. all this sadness are actually covered and burried with never-ending spiral of workloads.. all of my work..is actually drifting me away from my friends.. who can i blame??? i need an outlet....i seriously need one..all this will not do at all... i really don't know what to do anymore.. i suddenly feel that life is so meaningless.. there's actually not much of a purpose at all.......

so what if i'm involved in so much things??????? so what if i play games and try to stay away from becoming a nerd???? am i really good at something?? am i???? will people know if i'm really feeling sad?? no.. work work work..and i'm not expected to complain at all.. cuz if i really do say something..its not fair for the others le.. not fair at all..cuz they are also busy.. but i am losing my life already.. and i don't know what to anticipate anymore.....

these days... i'm just so busy with family and firefly things at hand..such that i got no more time for myself..yes..being a leader needs sacrifice..but leaders need some breathing space too... i can't really say anything..and even if i say this...i may be even hated by some people..but for those who see this.. please understand me for this moment k..i'm sure this has happened to you before..

this is just a time when i'm so so lost in my life..where all anticipation stops.. and my clock stops ticking..i'm like leaving in a never-ending routine... an excruciating cycle....

my family gives me problems as well..i'm financially weak..and i need money in order for my family to function well..for those who don't know at all.. and so my only anticipation is just to work in this holidays..maybe in the firefly? and i wanna thank hui min for giving me this chance to work..

i play so much games..but so what??? what benefit does it give me? for those who thought i never play games.. i do play a lot of games..but its no longer enjoyable in my life... its become meaningless.. just another outlet and space where i can temporarily drift away and divert my attention from the reality... this is just sheer escape and its not helping at all...haiz....

there's just so many things that can't be done.. so many things that i wish i could do..its just a complete stalemate... a completely still and lifeless dimension.....

i wish to get out of this entrapment... sometimes i just can't take it anymore..
and i don't know what i can do to improve all of this... being a practical and extrememly pragmatic person, i may do things that may solve the problem immediately...but lately.. i am no longer so...i need enlightenment....

but perhaps tml i may feel better...who knows....

Is this love?

2005-10-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

Contained Grey

My world once filled with mindless pursuits
The sky was dark, people just bare silhouettes
The core was just a shell, filled with illusions
Mono-style was the key and routine was my trusty lock
I was oblivious to the obvious, blinded by the grey space

Then you came, and guided me with a torch
The sky was clear, and my world bright once more
The core is no longer perception, but reality
Unlocking that door, I anticipate a new journey
My compass led to you, and it began..

The advent was unambiguous, led by the reliant compass
Then,
a pinch of dust, followed by an impending miasma
Reluctantly, they enveloped my vision, leaving zilch in its trace
All was grey, complete grey

Bewilderment and perplexity set in, and tones of grey was formed
Are they vindicated? No? Yes? Yes, they are.
I went on, perplexed, lost and all grey
The route was constricted and excruciating
Were they all mistaken perceptions?
No one knows.

The questions linger and one by one they revolve..
I could still see the illumination at a distance..
Close to the eye, yet unreachable..
The feeling dwells in the grey core, indifferent to the distance..
But I could feel the glow, so close.. so close it is..

My observations..

2005-10-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder.. what if all the things around us are just an illusion? The reason why things are so is because man created them, name them and labelled them. But what if, the so called "things" are not so? What if the world is not as simply as it seems? And what if we have all along lived in a life of deception and totally oblivious to the truth that lays ahead of us?

Although tests are done, so are endless,repetitive and permutated experiments, however, how do you know that the result of the successful experiments really comply to your hypothesis or theory? What if man themselves don't even know what the experiments really mean? What if, equations, observations and theories are just nothing but wrong and permanent perceptions of mankind? What if the theory that man comes up with are just coincidentally correct and true for all cases, and that the truth behind all the things are a totally new and undiscovered thing?

Is there ever a theory whereby it fits all? The answer is no. That is where the fallacy of science and mankind lies. Although I am very interested in science, however, sometimes I can't help to think that way... No offence yah..

In any case.. there's always many doubts and what ifs in your life.. its just plainly another of man's thinking.. yet said so much, none of them is true.. they are just perceptions of me...

---------UnWired---------------

Hey!! I'm back again!!

2005-10-15T00:49:00.000+08:00

Some time back, my internet connection was cancelled as the cost is too high..(dial ups are ex and slow.. :P) so well..i finally changed to a broadband..hehe..1500kbps.. kinda happy..cuz i was waiting got fast internet connection for long long time.. ^_^

I'm also excited that i can finally blog again.."penning" down my feelings..hehe..its another channel where i can express my feelings and keep you guys updated..hehe..

Anyway.. promos in JJ are now over..YEAH!! got quite good results.. and i'm kinda satisfied with it.. although can be better..haha..we must all jia you more next year!! :P Life's busy there lo..got so much stuff need to do..hehe.. I just signed up for OGL (Orientation Group Leader) in my school for orientation next year!! haha.. i hope its gonna be fun...although i'm gonna miss lessons, but its worth it..hehe.. furthermore, I got an impending Volunteers' Night for the CDAC and Openinig of the Firefly centre.. haha..now the whole committee is starting to plan for the event..i really hope that we can work well and jia you together for the event..:p it will surely kick-start Firefly.. and i also got a Nanotech research project to do..which is kinda hard..cuz there's not really an aim.. and the research just goes deeper..and with the restriction of our school lab equipments, we can't really perform the experiments to its peaks.. we're currently researching on water samples around our school area and testing for the presence of Cu2+ ions in the water probably due to leeching of Cu pipings..haha..(may be kinda chim for some.. :P bear with me..) yah lo..and i hope we can do well in it too..

haha..amidst all that lump of work..haha.. i still got normal lessons lo.. sianz...hahaha... i wanna play!! hehe.. actually i'm still actively playing..my com and PS2 (amored core NEXUS ROX!! Thanks Lim Hwee for lending me the game.. you rockz too) i also started playing maple..just level 10 only la..haha..still noobie..^_- anyway..i getting my PSP soon le!! so excited!!! i hope the games that it comes with will be fun..hehe..:p

haiz..life these days ah..nothing much but only games, games, games, games, work work work work study study study....haha.. well so much for it lah.. I wonder..what can spice up my life more? *_* haha.. i wish i knew too..

another day of my life..haha..

2005-01-29T18:42:00.000+08:00

hihi~! its me again.. quite long haven't really entered a real post liao.. hehe..just posted that writing that's akin to poetry thingy.. anyway.. we've been doing the PBL(problem based learning) programme in our school.. its a new programme that is implemented only this year, moreover,only few classes are selcected for this programme in our school..and unfortunately, we are chosen to be in this programme, randomly..-_-.. 05S15's my class..in case you don't know..haha..

hmm..how do i feel bout that programme? can look it from 2 perspectives lah..one, its good if we are able to cope with the fast pace of the tutorias and cramming of syllabus and at the same time, appreciate what is being taught in the PBL and also having the positive attitude towards learning new things.. second, it will be that person's misfortune if he or she enjoys mass lectures and only comes to JC to try our their mass lectures and also he or she have no real intention of wanting to learn more than what is taught in the syllabus..hehe..sorry.. for those who don't like PBL, cuz i like say till very bad..kk..anyway..the PBL thing is really very *sianz*.. very very very.. cuz what we go through everyday, is tutorials and PBL..that's all!!! nothing more except for PC(physical condition) and PE(physical education)..haiz..so well..the routine in school is not good..very repetitive..yah..all schools are like that lah..but i just feel kinda bored with the arrangements..haha..ok lah..enough of the PBL review thingy..hehe..

******WARNING*****CHILDISH THINGS AHEAD*****BUT WHO CARES*******I LIKE IT************
Guess what? Our class finally formed a group called Brotherhood!! It comprises of almost all the guys in my class.. there's 14 brothers in total..hehe.. and i'm the 4th brother!!! all goes by the birthday lah..of rather..most..hehe..yah..and i'm given this nickname "Dyna" as some of you know, a name of an Ultraman character..hahahaha...cuz my other friend Eric, plays the game Ultraman Evolution 3 and i went his house previously ma, and tried his game.. then he happened to be the 3rd brother.. and so i called him Tiga!! Coincidentally, while we are playing the game, the character Eric chosen was Tiga!!! hahaha.. and the character i chose was Dyna!! lame right?? but its really true lo..hehe.. and Eric's birthday just over too.. then we gave him a Birthday BASH UP...hahha..yao dong really kicked his ass..hahahha... so funny..we did it while in the changing room..but aiya..seeing that he's still a brother..we didn't really bash..hahaha..

**BACK**
so well.. i really miss my OG 15..all of them..haha.. they are really nice people..everyone of them..never seen such good friends before..:p yah..the spirit is really there lo.. but luckily..i still see most of them..like David lah..seen him a few mornings at the interchange while going to school.. hehe..then will chat till the canteen.. yah..life is good when it comes to friends..and Yong Zen and Eric, always make fun of Benjamin wan..hahahaa..bout the Spectre..i got take part too lah..but still i'm not that mean..hehehehe.. its really fun lo.. all these stuff..and we still watched HAPPY TREE FRIENDS while having maths lesson in the com lab!! and guess what??? i asked to teacher to watch along with us..hahaha.. she don't know what it is at first..but then she know liao..hahahaha..

i went for the OGL(Orientation Group Leader) interview on thursday and it was so scary..the interviewer is so fierce.. at first..hahah.. then he asked us to calm down and stuff lah.. but yet ah..the questions that he ask is challenging too.. and he's kinda bombarding the questions to us..its 5 interviewees : 1 interviewer.. yah..that's how it goes.. and it ended in just around 5 mins ba..cuz there's around 300 applicants and they need to finish by in 1 and a half hours time.. Tell you guys something.. I got in!!! I got through the first round and is now an OGL..but for the first three months lah..however, we are still on probation period..yah.. then i went to the CCA thingy yesterday too..and i went for Entrepreneur Club..its about business in the school, stock investments in the club, stock-taking and somemore things lah..then we played captain's ball in the end..hehe..and only abour 3 guys is in the Club!!! all girls lo..wonder why the club is so popular with the girls..hahahaha..

then at night i chatted with Petrtina..initially i called her, but she was talking to her friend..and then i called her later.. she got chinese Os soon mah..so we spoke in chinese.. hahahahaa.. the way she say it is so funny.. ;p cuz she seldom say chinese mah.. then taught her more things too..and that Chemistry is actually HUA4 XUE2 in chinese..hahaha..we chatted and chatted lah..bout my school stuff and told her what's all that is above this paragraph..we chatted from 12 to around 2 ba..till we were so tired that we can't talk anymore..hahahaha.. we both had tiring days lah..so cannot tahan long..hahaha.. yah..then we put down le lo.. and i went to sleep immediately..hahahaha..

i woke up at around 1.30 today and i was like "oh shit" haha.. but then i not going out today..so well.. still all right..and then i play game and play and play..and online and online..hahaha..that's my day lah..later i still gotta do homework too..hehe.. {will i??) hahaha.. maybe lah ah..hahaha..then tomorrow i going to an arts musuem of some place that's related to the arts to do some GP(General Paper) research and we even need to take pics there to get proof that we actually went!! haha.. well.. i still don't know where we going too..hehe..maybe Singapore Civilisation Museum?? or Singapore Arts Museum or ...hahaha..don't know too..

haha..i wrote a lot of crap today..that's why its so long..hahah.. ok lah..i gotta go liao..my fingers are burning..and my keyboard's smoking..joking only..hehe.. kk..see ya people.. Till next time!!!

Signing off.. ^-^

Poem 1

2005-01-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

Awakening

Trying to unveil myself to the light
Hoping to find the end of the tunnel
Desperately searching, foraging and yet to no avail
A feeling so overwhelming that it blinded me from my own senses
A feeling indescribable by words
Crave, greed and an unrelenting cycle of self-contradiction

The routine is killing me
Falling and helping myself up so many times
I've lost count
Trying hard to change my perception of things
Turning a blind eye to the darkness
and deceiving myself that I'm in the light
Repeatedly trying to conceal the self I've become

So sudden, it came
It came to me and I finally awakened my senses
All the things that surrounded me
All this while, All this time
The darkness that I once perceive,
are actually one of the facets

Appreciating every facets of the life I've faced
I smiled to myself
I am Awakened, Awakened to the light

taking on a new approach

2005-01-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

hiya people..just finished my chem tutorial 1..haiz..this few days ah... really kinda bored by the monotonous way of how jc worked.. tutorials and preparing them..then tutorials again..its all right lah..thinking that it only lasts for less then 2 years..i guess what lacks in my life are really really good friends..hope to find laughter soon in jjc..i've been feeling kinda lonely nowadays..i can't give a logical explaination to it.. maybe its what i mentioned above or something..although i do laugh at jokes and marvel at stuff..my heart still seems kinda empty..how i wish i could eradicate this feeling once and for all..cuz of this i've been sad lately too..thus trying to spend on things hoping to fill up the endless pit..however it will never work out, i know that too. just that sometimes you still do things even when you know it'll not work..so well.. still trying to change my mindset of self-pity.. haiz.. don't know what's gotten over me too.. maybe writing here will make me feel better ba..hehe.. anyway.. that day at the CCA orientation, i was sick..feverish.. so i didn't do well in the badminton and the shooting trials at all..i think i flung it..well.. guess i'm either joining taekwando, yoga or entrepreneurial(sp) club..hope i get into one of them!

i wanna thank Gracie too.. for in one way or the other cheering me up lah..kinda lah..so well thanks.. and Tamara also.. for telling me things that made me feel better and chatted with me this afternoon.. ^-^ thanks alot..

i got so much stuff to do..got maths tutorials lah.. chem tutorials.. physics tutorials to come and games to play too!! hehe..i don't have much time to do the Games Review yet..sorry for always not doing the things i said cuz of my busy schedule.. hmmm... i wish that tomorrow will be a better day and that each days goes on better..^_^ yah? don't you think so? hehe.. and i wish that i can recover my happiness in JJ soon..

signing off ( gotta do my maths tutorials )
see ya people..;p

second lecture day..

2005-01-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

Hi people!! its me again..aiya..of course la..haha..what crap am i talking. Anyway, today is the second lecture day!! one generalisation for it la ha.. *boring* can't blame me though..cuz its really boring.. we have only GP lecture today for the SC03 wans.. moreover, the lectures have not started yet..so well.. you can see lots of us staring into space or just simply in LALA land..hehe..

anyway.. i went with cheng yi and the Hi-girl ( hui min) to eat lah..but in the end bang seh me...i eat alone lo..then met lynette and her friend la..we also stumble upon one of lynette's friend's senior..wei min (guy :P).. he's a student counsellor by the way..so we chatted a while on the school stuff lah..it was better than the GP lecture..Seriously!!! haha..

then i went to suntec.. to collect my phone.. the LG customer care service centre not only repaired my blacked out screen but also my vibration!! heheeh.. how nice..and then i went to play LAN with my secondary school friends at CINE... however ah.. as i have no shirt or shorts to change to.. i ended up waiting for them for 2 and a half hours..excruciating lo..and i'm standing throughout..while they are having fun..but anyway..silly me la ah..so can't blame them..hehe..maybe i too good liao lo..PS: i have always been very good wan..:P

so here i am typing this lo..and just uploaded some very nice pics of our OG 15 onto my com..hehe.. i love OG 15 man..its the best.. BTW, i'll be having PS2 games reviews for those hardcore gamers like me lah..hehe..i'll update them when i'm free..cuz i need to do some research before i put them here first.. and also, i do first-hand testings for the game at home as well..:P

k lah..i need to do other stuff le..see ya~! till next time.. {^_^}

The Hong Song

2005-01-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys~! Especially people from JJC~! This is a song by OG 15 (Family 3) and composed entirely by Akesh!! {^_^}

Here goes:

The 'Hong' Song

There was one boy
His name Jin Hong
He like one girl
So we sing this song

Got Samantha
With Adell
And there was John
And the OGL

So they all think
Who can it be
For all I know
It could be me

So then one day
He say 'I love you'
And then she say
I love you too

Let's watch movie
What do you say
I heard you're free
On this Friday

And then she say
This is too fast
But then he cried
So she said at last
I'll go with you
But as to why
I have no clue

In ten years time
They were marrried
17 Children
3 Miscarried

Thanks to JJ
And Mr Liao
They got to meet
And life was SIAO!

routine..and stuff..:P

2005-01-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

hiya people.. wah.. tml school starting lo...for those going to e first three months.. :( so sianz lei.. how i wish still got some more time to rest at home...but well..everything comes with a purpose ya? :p so maybe it can get rid of my bad sleeping habit of sleeping at 2 to 4 am..and waking up at 1.30pm..haha.. the weather is so cold here in singapore..furthermore, i'm like kinda sick after not sleeping and dawning in mark's chalet..

hehe..for mark's church Thanks Giving chalet on the 31st dec to e first jan..its really fun lah..met lots of new people lah..and some i met last time too..we played ice-breaker games and even a combination of WHO-WHAT-HUH?, big fish small fish, bunny ears and ping piang!! we had countdown as well..kinda a small countdown lah..just shouted 5..4..3..2..1..HAppy New Year!!..haha..we then watched Interview with a Vampire with the whole lot of them..haha..and Shuyi too..hehe..at least got some company..haha.. its quite a nice show lah..and classical as well.. but the effects are really top notch..haha.. also, we had supper as well..we just ate and ate and ate..till so full..i kinda dawned there lo, and ate Starburst gummies too..i ate tons of it lah..just chewing away..but well..got this stupid sorethroat liao..;p haha..its not a very good thing to have sorethroat..cuz your immune system falls and you don't feel like doing anything too..except for taking medicine and resting..after the show and while chewing on those sweets..i chatted with shuyi via my handphone..luckily my phone got free incoming too..haha..

the Perfect Grade Wing Gundam Zero Custom model kit is still on its building stage..done the inner frame of the leg and the skirt(pelvis?? ;P)..i painted some details into it too..don't have much time..so didn't take pictures of it lah..pai seh.. but i'll certainly add them in when i'd completed it..*promise* well, for my Master Grade Strike Rogue, i'm currently stopping e project first for now..most probably i may want to finish Mark's Wing G first.. so all of you will have to wait ba.. sorry..i'm kinda a slow modeller lah..still learning much of the skills involved..:p

just had my lunch..which is porriage(spelling error?)..and looked at Shuyi's LJ.. i read all of it.. there's things there that reminded me of my things too..but well..they are all things of the past liao..for now we shall welcome the New Year with open arms and an open heart!! ok lah..haha..gotta go liao..not feeling very well..

signing off..feeling sick...
*-*

oh my..

2004-12-27T00:09:00.000+08:00

wah~!!! finally man.. i finally can get connected~!!! no lah.. maybe this is just purely concidence that my modem worked..haha... anyway.. i long time no blogged le..sorry guys.. *gomen*

ok..well..the previous things are too much to remember for me..i just know that i went out like crazy for the past few days..omg..haha..

a few days before christmas eve, we went to watch kung fu hustle.. damn funny!! its like watching those wacky cartoons..ahahahaha...but the visuals are not bad lah..its tons of actions..those who haven watch the show..please do it!!! hahhahaa..

for chirstmas eve, i went out with Terry, Astley, Jason, Kenneth and Koon Cai..haha..its was so fun that night..we met at 7pm mah..those who knew me would know that i would probably be late lah..hehe..*angels* okok..so we went to walk walk..then to eat.. we went to yoshinoya..after that, we went outside taka..and we never expected that we would get sprayed!!! hhahahaha.. all of us then knew that we needed ammo..^_^ we bought 5 cans at first.. for $10..haha..then we went around having *jet snow fights* with others..its really damn crazy and chaotic.. astley got hit the most..and of course.. we worked as a team and formed a 6 men gang..hahahahaah..going around spraying other people..after we finished our own cans..we bought some more..which is worse..11 f0r $20 with some spoiled..haha..and then 3 for $5..then 7 got $10..hahaha.. we just sprayed lo..and spray and have gang *snow fights* hahahaha.. then we sprayed kenneth a big deal too..cuz of the fact that he was terribly late..haha..then we took the last train..but too bad..after we were changing from outram from orchard to the NE line..the last train is gone le..so well..gotta take cab home lo..luckily still got my other friends.. astley, koon cai and kenneth..hehe..if not i'll not have enough money to go home liao..hahahaa

on to the christmas day!!!hahaha.. yesterday lah..to be precise..hehehe.. i met louise in the interchange and went to meet her other cell group members in her church to fort canning..haha.. and guess what..i met my primary school friend GUO WEI!!! hahaha.. so glad to see him man..hahaha.. long time no see le lei..wa piang..hahaha.. ;P then we just went to the christmas celebration at the fort canning..we got some cool freebies and sat on the grass.. with raincoats as mats..hahaha.. we sang songs there.. jumped.. listened to the prayers and preaching.. and also spray like siao..we got the snow thingy for freebies mah..hahahahah..and got to know some new friends there..and mark and luke was there too!!! hahaha..omg..so glad to see them too.. then we chatted, joked and bursted into waves of laughters.. it was freaking fun..then we went to the crowd at the front and mr goh was there!!!hahaha.. henderson's big family semi reunited!!! hahahaha.. so happy.. then we were off to the 7/11 to have something to eat and drink there..after which we just went home..it was around 12.45 then..so we took a cab..haha.. anyway.. i got a very nice christmas present from mark and luke..i liked it alot!! thanks guys~! haha..

yah.. and now i am typing this lo..hahaha.. i don't know if my modem can work in the future mah..but hopefully it will continue working fine from now on..hehhehee.. yah..:p so sianz lei.. school reopening soon..how i wish i could extend the holidays and also go to the first three months to jj too..haha.. oh yah..and by the way..i went to Jurong JC..hehe..haven't survey the area yet lah..but i do hope that its relatively near lo..hehe..well..gotta go..see ya guys!!

till next time..{^_^}

Finally got connected~!

2004-12-14T16:14:00.000+08:00

hey, sorry guys.. these few days having problems with my com.. cuz a few days back my com's modem is damaged and i kept trying and trying to reconnect,but only to no avail.. i also called the Pacific internet technical service to check with my connection and the enquiring lasted for almost an hour!!! well.. although my problem was still not solved, i still wanna thank them for their patience with me..hehe..:P so currently now i'm using my laptop, that have an internal card modem..haha..

these days are really boring for me..besides doing and fixing my MG Strike Rogue, playing my PS2 (Samurai Warriors), going online and reading books.. i got nothing more to do..kinda broke too..haha..so well..stay at home lo..but those who know me will know that my next outing will be real soon..hahaha..

i apologise for the modellers regarding the G-kit Strike Rogue review, due to insufficient time left for my holidays, i've decided to finish my kit first and then put it up here, with photos as well..{^_^} so don't worry..cuz i'm now 75% complete le..haha..

A few days back i went out with peiting and yu tai.. it was really fun.. in the morning we went to the pet safari at simei and the arcade there as well..and we play and play and play until our heads drop.. hehe..kidding..okok.. then for lunch we went to bugis to have MOS burger..really nice~! haha..i got Teriyaki Chicken Burger..hehe..its the nicest fast food restaurant in my opinion..hehe.. anyway..we saw Mark Lee and another female artist as well..don't know the name lah..haha..
then we went to Sim Lim to walk walk lo..and got alot of phamphlets..haha..then lastly we went to clarke quay to see some hobby stuff..anyway..the river is so dirty!!! its like muddy and its reddish-brown in colour..ewww....

this is my second time writing this blog again..cuz the last time my com hanged..haha..so gotta write again..haiz..but nevermind lah..here i am.. typing here..haha..lalala lalala lalala..k lah..see ya guys..

signing off..{^_^}

G-kit Progress: Strike Rogue

2004-12-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

G-kit Progress: Strike Rogue
hiya~! i kept going out these few days, so my progress is quite slow..haha..anyway..i just did some painting for the frame of the strike rogue's shoulder using Steel Red(however it looks like metallic black) colour and some silver paint on the round part of the shoulder. i did some sanding on the rough parts and removed the excess paints.. for the casing of the frame, i used the fine tip gundam marker and drew some panel lines on it.

well, here are some of the pictures {^_^}

Sprinkles Of Knowledge: Bushido~The Way Of the Samurai

2004-12-02T13:14:00.000+08:00

Sprinkles Of Knowledge

~Bushido-The Way Of the Samurai: As a Samurai, one should live with pride and honour. The word "Samurai" means "to Serve". They are considered a small and shortlived civilisation (9th-12th Century) that existed only in Japan. "It puts emphasis on loyalty, self-sacrifice, justice, sense of shame, refined manners, purity, modesty, frugality, martial spirit, honor and affection." (Nippon Steel Human Resources Development Co., Ltd. 329) Bushido is a code and a way of life for the Samurai. Along with these virtues, Bushido also holds justice, benevolence, love, sincerity, honesty, and self-control in utmost respect.Justice is one of the main factors in the code of the samurai. Crooked ways and unjust actions are thought to be lowly and inhumane. Love and benevolence were supreme virtues and princely acts. Samurai followed a specific etiquette in every day life as well as in war. Sincerity and honesty were as valued as their lives. Bushi no ichi-gon, or "the word of a samurai," transcends a pact of complete faithfulness and trust. With such pacts there was no need for a written pledge; it was thought beneath one's dignity.The samurai also needed self-control and stoicism to be fully honored. He showed no sign of pain or joy. He endured all within--no groans, no crying. He held a calmness of behavior and composure of the mind neither of which should be bothered by passion of any kind.He was a true and complete warrior.
These factors which make up Bushido were few and simple. Though simple, Bushido created a way of life that was to nourish a nation through its most troubling times, through civil wars, despair and uncertainty. "The wholesome unsophisticated nature of our warrior ancestors derived ample food for their spirit from a sheaf of commonplace and fragmentary teachings, gleaned as it were on the highways and byways of ancient thought, and, stimulated by the demands of the age formed from these gleanings a new and unique way of life" (Nitobe, 20). Courtesy of http://mcel.pacificu.edu/as/students/bushido/bindex.html and edited by Bryan

Stay on for more SoK (Sprinkles of Knowledge) !! {^_^}

Days gone, and they are still passing.. :)

2004-12-02T12:36:00.000+08:00

Hey guys~! sorry lei.. i haven updated it for a while liao..i was busy ma..and was going out almost everyday these few days..haha.. well, in the later weeks i'll be meeting my primary school friends and shi qi too!! :P

around tuesday, i went to Mark's house at night to play and help with his gundam as well.. mavis came along as well!! {^_^} then we had lots and lots of fun there.. we played mark's Doom 3 and at the same time saw luke playing Half-life 2!!! :)the graphics are all so nice.. haha.. after that, which was around 9.. mark and i started on the PG Wing Gundam Zero project that we had discussed earlier.. so after some organisation, we had planned out what to do with the gundam, which was to dismantle them, remove the paint with thinner, refurnishing the parts by washing and sanding, repaint them with prays or hand painting,. draw the panel lines, and carefully fix them back..:) so well, we do have a long long way to go.. moreover, i still have my MG strike rogue to work on too!!! hahaha..well..busy busy holidays..hahaha.. i dismantled ALMOST everything that day and i worked from 9 to about 12.30 that day.. really can die.. but its a really nice and wonderful experience for me..well, its a PG, what do you expect..hahaha.. but luckily, mark was there too..
http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/wow_large.jpg
i took a pic too lah..most of the parts you see at the foreground is only one leg!!! haha..its sure a lot of parts.. lots of metal frame parts too!!! oh yah..i must really thank mavis too..hehe..cuz she was helping us to remove the paint of the parts with thinner..so imagine the unbearable smell she have to endure.. hmmm..really wanna thank her alot..hahaha..

after that, i'm going out like crazy..haha..on the 30th, i went to compass point to accompany shu yi and xinyi and at night, i called boon keat and kenneth out for dinner..haha..and went to the Esplanade to look at the night scene..so nice~! haha.. these are some of the pics i took there..hehe.. can't blame me lah..haha..anyway.. you should visit there too..its so relaxing..kenneth introduced to me wan..:P
http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/night-scene_large.jpg
http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/night-scene-2_large.jpg

then yesterday, mavis came my house to play..hahahah.. play almost all the PS2 games..it was so fun..then she tried this tried that..i found out that she have a liking for GTASA and Tony Hawk's Underground/skaters games..haha..hmm..maybe of the freedom to do anything ba..haha..then we played resident evil too..after that she went home ay 7.25 or so to watch singapore idol..hhahaha..

currently i got so much things that haven't been done yet..still no progress for my games and my gundam yet..hahaha..going to do them soon lah.. soon..{^_-}then later going out with jeff too..hahaha..well, the reason i enjoy and do so much things in this holiday is cuz mark told me this thing "Enjoy while you can, if not you will not have any more time to enjoy in JC" (Courtesy of Mark:P) yah lo..so well..play play play..hahahaha..

Anyway, thanks for you guys who visit my blog often..^-^

Strike Rogue Progress and guide for noobs!! :) (see for fun even if you're not interested..{^_^})

2004-11-24T01:25:00.000+08:00

(this review is plainly for noobies on G-kits and the techniques that are involved.. i'll try to cover up as much things as possible but i'll do my best in explaining the terms, techniques and progress of the kit..{^_^}i'll constantly update my blog every few days or so to record my progress on the kit and pictures will be shown :P )
OK~! now finally for the gundam kit review..the kit that i'm reviewing now is the Gundam Seed Master Grade 1/100 Strike Rogue.. firstly, some intro bout the kit.. there are 15 sprues in total,a plastic base, two decal sheets and one sticker, two small screws, one instruction booklet, one insulated copper wire and a display cover. This kit is quite articulate, with a lot of details included. There are even detailed panel lines etched and moulded in most of the parts. There's about 262 parts included in this wonderful kit and most of the parts are painted. However, some minor paint jobs are still needed to finish up this kit perfectly. The kit is entirely the same as the Gundam Aile Strike MG 1/100, the only difference is only the colour scheme and the history of the bot :P

Enough for the intro, now are some of the staple stuffs that you will need
1)Penknife or art knife for cutting off the excess plastic on the parts
2)wire cutter to remove the parts from the raw sprues
3)Gundam markers, black fine 0.04cm tip and other colours for colouring(your preference) or if you don't prefer gundam markers, try Sakura Micron Pen available in bookstores at 0.05cm. These are for drawing panel lines.
4)Acrylic paints or paints for plastic models, for me, i prefer Gunze Sangyo Aqueous Hobby Colour because they are relatively easy to use
5)Sand papers, once again, I prefer Tamiya Finishing Abrasives, at 400, 600 and 1000 grit.
6) Fine and slightly thicker paint brushes for paint jobs

I've just finished the cock pit of the gundam and are now working on the head itself :P Things to take note of: remove the parts from the sprues one by one according to the parts of the model with the wire cutter and sand off the excess plastic until you get a smooth surface, then start painting or drawing panel lines. While sanding the kit, try to apply different strength to it to get the best preferred result. You may also prefer water sanding to remove off the fine powdered form plastic formed and stuck on the surface. If not, while sanding, you can just simply use your finger to rub off the powder( you gotta be hard though:P). Then, for painting the parts, try using a paint brush for the larger parts and apply more than one coat if the paint is uneven. For small corners like the wonderfully moulded head, you can try some techniques that my friend, joe and I tried.
Firstly, for joe's method, he tried using masking tape to cover the parts that need not to be painted and paint on the desired area.After the paint is dried, remove off the tape. However, you'll need to be really careful with the masking tapes and make sure that it is tight on the plastic and you'll need to make sure that the tape is shaped for the desired spot.
Secondly, for the method that i tried, try painting over the part that you wanna paint, and then, wait for it to dry for a few minutes. After which, use a toothpick( for this, my purpose is to use a sharp object that won't destroy the plastic at the same time when it scratches on the plastic surface) to scrape off the excess paint areas. A lot of hand control is needed, so do with precision, but don't worry, practice makes perfect..! :) you'll have to scrape it hard and repeatedly, so its best if the excess area is not too large. Fred not, this technique will only be used in very small areas such as the details on the head.

Now Finally for some pictures!!(click on the link to access the pictures, this is for the courtesy of other readers for the blog and fast loading of the page)
this is the uncompleted cockpit, just showing how it opens up. http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/cockpit_large.jpg

This is the completed cockpit, sanded, lines drawn and painted. http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/cockpit-back_large.jpg
http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/cockpit-up_large.jpg

this is the head, still in progress, the lines are drawn and sanded. http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/head-back_large.jpg
http://bryanong1988.mypicgallery.com/necronflameberge/head-front_large.jpg

I apologise deeply for the blurry images as they are taken with my handphone..:p

finally~!!! i updated my blog!! and o levels are over!!!

2004-11-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

yes!!! haha.. o levels are now finally over!!! well..you might ask how i may fair for e papers.. well..they are all fairly easy..but the ones i'm slightly worried are physics and my humans( cuz you won't know if its right mah..:P) but well..i'm very contended lah.. no regrets.. cuz i really gave it my best shot!!! haha.. i wish that i still can come back as top three..:) haha.. well..enough for that lah..

hmmm.. i may be using this blog for my gundam model kit review site.. cuz i'm currently now building a MG(Master Grade) Strike Rogue gundam..and it may be a help for those of you who are interested in modelling.. i will be going through the details that i added to the kits..but not step by step instructions..haha.. then what colour did i used and the sand paper and such.. i'll include the techniques as well.. then i'll be updating my progress on the kit as well..currently i just started on the cockpit of the gundam..so well..still in early stages of development..haha.. btw.. joe is building the same kit as me too..well..cannot blame lah..its a nice kit..(though its pink)hahaha..

i'm so happy that the o levels are over!! what a relief..hahaha..anyway..today i and astley, terry and kooncai and jason went to great world and played bowling..i got no money le lah..so just see lo..then they tag team ah..hahaha..then we also played pool too..hahaha..we then play play lah..very funny..hahah..we shoot the balls in then the number on it is the o level mark we get!!!then everyone snatching for the one mark..hahahaha..siao wan..hahaha.. today i also went to marina south or bay..don't know..haha..to eat steamboat buffet!!..with jason, terry, koon cai, astley, albert, xuan ming, wen jun, koon long, kelvin, miao juan, adam, steff, ai lian and chun han..(sorry if i miss some..) it was so fun..hahaha..then terry ah..aiyo..dye his hair like the XI LING MEN (double happiness or bliss) XIAO GAO..hahaha..so funny..hihihihih.. aiya..he got a light brown base, and a golden highlight..wah..very nice..then he still put wax over..hahaha..them we went to eat lah.. from 5 eat until 9 lei..hahaha.. siao hor..but its nice lah..got sharks fin too..and lots of things..hahaha..then we chat chat laugh laugh eat eat lo..hahahaha.. aiya..its so much fun..then after that ah.. we went to arcade lah..then i went to compete with adam Perussion Freaks 9th mix..(its a drum simulation game..)..haha..cuz he everytime brags about it mah..hahaha..so i show him lo..:P then i played lah..for quite long.. and was really nice lah..i so long never touch that le..hahahaha..then its his turn lo..and everyone was looking..hahaha..his actions are very candid lah..cannot take it..hahaha..then it turned out that his score is only 1/3 of mine..hehe..:P then we see people play play..hahaha..so noisy and hot too..adam even tried out the PARAPARA!! hahaa..he play like playing Taichi..hahahaha..what watermelon.. ER hum..okok..hahahah..then we went back lo..and the bus was so crowded..hahahaa..ok lah..but we did take a lot of photos a long the way..its a very very fun day!!!!

wah..continue reading!!hahaha..

hmmm..then now recently very occupied with my gundam and games lah..of course lah..they are just things to do when i'm free..wanna go out call me k?hahaha.. aiya..so sianz..i'll miss my friends de..its like i won't be seeing much of them soon.. sob sob..haiz.. but never mind lah..our friendship will forever remain..:) ok lah..hahaha.. oh yah..i also intend to do some CG( computer generated) pics too..hahaha..like gundam or whatever lo..and i'll post them here..hahaha..:P give your comments hor!!!hahaha..but first..i must learn how to put the pics first..hahahaa.. k lah.. i know its straining your eyes..very long blog right? hahaha.. ok lah..hahaha.. hehehe.. lalala..aiya.. that's it for now!! look out for more updateS!!!! {^_^}

wah..can't take it anymore.. stressed..

2004-10-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

COUNT DOWN APPROX. 2 WEEKS TO O LEVELS~!

haha..yah..very stressed up by the ACS chem paper.. :( kinda hard for some questions..haha..kinda like brain dead.. i already started to plan for what to do after Os le..hahah..i'm like counting down for the day to come..

today so sad..don't seem to do well in my chem mcq..only got 28 over 40..well..have to work really hard..thought i can do well de..but anyway..perseverence will pull me through!!! *wink* hehe.. later still gotta start on my revision on physics and chem..its gonna be a tough nightz for me..haha..i'll have to work hard le!!

but i was really stressed up just now.. can't take it..that's why i'm here mah..relaxing..but no one here to chat to lei..so bored..hahah..now trying to unwind all of that things and loads in my head..(what i talking??) but well.. haha.. still suffering from that headache now.. its tormenting..haha..

haven had my dinner yet..cuz i wanna faster unwind..haha.. tml i and albert and maybe other of my class people meet first and then go to school at 10 something or 9 something..hahaha.. i think we go bm mac eat and study first then say we over slept or something..depends..(bad hor..)hahaha.. you know.. today.. the sec 3s had gotten back their paper.. some of my friends don't seem to do well lei.. feel kinda sad for them..i wanted to show more concern..especially for my sis (sofi) de.. but i feel that by doing so i may in turn lead to giving them more stress..so i decided not to ask much le..hope they are ok ba..haha.. hao ba.. off to my dinner le~! see ya~! :)

signing off!! jia you everyone!!!

at least..things are finally back to normal..

2004-10-17T12:43:00.000+08:00

well..haha..i'm all right now.. i'd straightened my thoughts le.. anyway.. what's mine will be mine.. what's not will never be.. so all will be left to fate ba..all will now be after my exams..well..i have faith.. haha..:P

i was quite sad at around 12 am today.. because halfway through online, my com got busted.. my monitor and mouse and keyboard were all not responding.. it really scared me.. alot.. because there's a lot of important things inside.. :P all my friend's pics, ecpecially mark's pics and my aesthetics documents and photos taken together.. moreover there's my games save files..{^_-} my mp3s are also of great importance too..hehe..a lot of which i just downloaded.. aiya..there's just so much important things.. you can name it all..hehe:P

well.. since my com is busted.. how can i type this? well.. of course.. i fixed it back le.. after so analysing(hehe..) i decided to reassemble everything again.. from the mouse to the inside of the cpu..haha..then i cleaned off all the dusts inside the cpu and well.. wah lah.. haha.. eureka.. it works~! {^-^} i'm quite happy now..and blessed..haha.. its like the happiness that you will have
when you just lost something and gotten it back..(there's a chinese saying for it.. i forgotten..haha..) so well.. i gotta study le lah..16 more days to the o levels..jia you~! if i'm free or taking a break.. you may see an update in the blog..haha..:P well..see ya~!

signing off.. hehe..

Holding back my tears.. .-_-

2004-10-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

haiz.. i know that there would only be a few or maybe only 1 or 2 person who would see this blog.. i'm really feeling quite sad now..my hopes seem to have tarnished.. i do not know why.. all of this happened..maybe i'm too impulsive.. maybe i'm oversensitive..

i don't really understand.. why must things go this way.. how i wished.. there is someone that can really understand my feelings..

signing off..

Running outta skool!! well.. at least we tried..

2004-10-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

today ah..so fun..in the morning, all of us were talking about whether to leave school after the 3 periods of ss..haha..but then suddenly in the morning, mr lee overheard our conversation about going home after the 3rd period and told jason to stay in school today..haha..well..of course the rest of us didn't really acknowledge to it..but just smiled to his request..hahaha...

the ss lesson was indeed enriching..and i've learnt several new stuff about source-based questions le..hahaha.. well it was really fun.. all of us joked.. and laughed like hell..haha..

then it was off to english..you know.. when we were there..ms lee didn't expect so many of us to turn up then..initially, i and jason suppose to go de.. but anyway..we still go lah..got that sense of responsibility that pulled us there..hahaha..:P well..her only plan for the lesson was only personal consultation about our compos.. then she knew that we wanted to go home too.. hehe.. so she say.. "I didn't ask all of you to leave my class.. but you can go to the toilet now..", also meaning that we can leave.. just indirectly and closing one eye..hahaha.. it was so funny..only i heard it..so well.. everyone stayed except me standing there wandering why they are still in the class.. we also did nothing in the english lesson..hahaahhhahha.. chatted with jason and latifah..haha..i think every teacher had anticipated that we are not coming..
so mr wong knew too..

then we received the news from astley... saying that mr wong is outside the gate..hahaha.. well.. then we still went down..but jason and astley were behind.. hahah.. anyway..i, albert, julian, koon cai, say keong, yvonne, begam, terry and yixuan and debbie..hahaha.. all caught..but we did ask mr wong for permission if we can leave the school.. frankly speaking.. all of us and almost everyone in our class wanted the study leave.. all of us think that its more efficient to be studying at home..yah..so we decided to ask mr wong for it..haha..hoping that we can leave early..

anyway.. he asked for our class and wrote down our name..(wonder if we'll be in any trouble? well.. i doubt so..hahaha.. so we insisted and explained to mrs lee or whoever..(forgotten the name..haha..) then she sent us to the library to study..then we study lor..haha..study until so bored..cuz i study again mah..what i already knew in prelim.. the thing is stil fresh in there..haha..so i went back home and asked sofi and angie..whether they wanna go out..cuz really wanted to go out..been staying at home for quite long le..hahaha..but they had their own activities lah..so well.. i slept till 8.21 and had my dinner and then online and wrote this blog..welll...hahaa..this is the longest blog i've written before..hehe.. so aiya..nothing to say le lah..

signing off..:)

In~tensive Chem Mentally Exhausted

2004-10-13T07:50:00.000+08:00

Finally to my second post.. haha.. today was really a tiring day, e maths paper followed by a really tough crescent girls chem mcq paper introduced by mr lee.. he also agreed that the paper had some difficulty..:P so much things to do, yet so little time.. haha.. Still got chem papers to do and ss as well.. I really hope that i can cope with all this things..just back from home after eating at the hawker with Astley, Jason, Terry and Koon Cai..

Kinda tired now, but no matter what still cannot sleep.. cuz i'll surely wake up at 7 de..hahaha...
anyway.. i'm very glad that i got the book "A Manual Of Buddhism" from my aunt today.. finally can know more about buddhism and hope that it can bestow me the 'new strength' or as a source of motivation..hahaha.. {^_-}

well..that's that for now le lah..haha..

Finally, my first template is updated~! :)

2004-10-12T12:40:00.000+08:00

I had a long time trying to figure out how to update my blog with a new template, my previous one doesn't work at all, so i decided to put it aside and to start a new one!! ;p anyway.. my previous blog is www.necronflameberge.blogspot.com in case you wanna know.. haha..